Do you ever feel like your life is a big balancing act? School, relationships, work, friends? You work to make money, go to school so you can get an education. Have friends so you can see the sunny side of life without losing your mind. Then you get to relationships. You can be friends…right? Well of course you can. What if you feel something more? What then? You could try to hide it. You could say how you feel. This could have disastrous results mind you. I’ve been there. One of two ways. They could say they like you…well that’s great you’d think right? Yes, but let me explain. You could go about your days marveling in each others happiness and enjoying each others company until something goes wrong. Something…say you just spend too much time together, you get to know each other a little too well. No I don’t mean sexually, not yet though I’ll get to that in a minute. You know each others schedules so you wait for each other to get out of class, go to lunch, what have you. You might visit outside of school but that’s a little more tricky. You feel the sparks more often…too close proximity. Frustrated, you stand up suggesting to go for a walk. Happily you both walk along the paths together discussing each others lives, school etc. Something still feels off, you feel uneasy but brush it off just as nerves. You talk, laugh enjoy each others company, maybe go out for cocoa if it’s cold enough. Then, part ways wanting to just be alone for a time. You see what i mean? It’s too close. You don’t get that break the…space you need to grow your relationship.
When it’s long distance that’s a different story and you can reflect more on your relationship with the person since you don’t see them often. You’re time with them is more “slowed down” as you don’t have to really rush at all. When the person is in the same state there may be some pressure to get married, move in together etc. You’ll want to revolve your life around them constantly just because that’s how you feel in the same state. When you’re separated by distance you can focus on each other but to a lesser degree of sorts. You can focus on your own life, worry about school and your dreams but know at some point they can be involved but you can live for yourself knowing that they support you. They have their dreams and you have yours. Sure you’ll meet someday but until then you can focus on yourself. You won’t need to rush anything as much as you might want to since you don’t see them that often but that’s not the issue.
When you rush things in a relationship, disastrous results can ensue. If something were to happen and say, you break up. You’d still see them at points being that you’re in the same state. You don’t get the distance to heal and be your own person. Every day you’d have to live with the anguish and pain associated. When you’re long distance something like that can still hurt and it can hurt a lot but you get the time to heal since you won’t see them like you would being stateside.
What happens if you’re friends but want something more? They may not want it and you’ll try to go about your days avoiding each other hoping eventually hoping your feelings peter out and die. You may have difficulty facing the mental anguish of having to avoid them. Not a problem so if it’s long distance. Or they could want to be with you. You could end up rushing and regret it or try to take it slow so as not to ruin what is a precarious friendship. If you fall off the tightrope, who will catch you? Crashing and burning in a relationship is never good. This is why one has to have friends to help you through it. Life it a roller coaster, you have to enjoy the ride so you don’t go crazy and lead yourself to your own doom