The Bullet Points

Published June 5, 2014 by meredithwyatt1990

What an interesting take

lap edition 8

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Once again it’s time to throw this week’s headlines on Rant’s desk and watch that little vein pop on his forehead, as Long Awkward Pause presents:

 The Bullet Points

Headline #1.)

Authorities confiscate $3M worth of shoes from Kentucky home Authorities confiscate $3M worth of shoes from Kentucky home

soldierRants: Lead investigator was quoted as making the comment, “All of them were just fabulous!”

Headline #2.)

Puppy drives car into Massachusetts pond Puppy drives car into Massachusetts pond

soldier Rants: Then someone posts a picture that says, “Wow… So drive… Much accelerate.”  Authorities arrest the puppy, and in a whole twenty minutes, #freethepuppy movements begin gathering signatures.  Murrica.

Headline #3.)

Three cops in New Mexico’s infamous anal cavity search case still on job Three cops in New Mexico’s infamous anal cavity search case still on job

soldier Rants: Most disturbing here is the thought of what these men could possibly value so much by spelunking for it in someone else’s ass.  One can only assume there are three in order to support a full, three-shift effort every day.  Also, we need to…

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