Speak Through Your Heart and Your Mind Will Follow

~ by Amy L.

To My Present Self –

I know right now you feel scared and lost. I know that the amount of pain you are in feels unbearable and you are scared to experience your feelings.

I know that right now you are afraid of the deep depression that you think you may go into if you stop and allow yourself to grieve it all. I promise you one day this will all make sense. I promise that you aren’t going through this in vain. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I promise that you will get there.

You have all the tools, remember to use them. Don’t use alcohol, work, or other men as a way to escape. Please have patience with yourself; your soul is going through a transition. Reach out and connect with people when you need help. You are worth…

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Cognitive Dissonance Removal Strategies: Harmful and Healthy Ways

Abusive relationships often reshape your entire belief system. If you are like most victims of narcissistic abuse, you experienced a distorted sense of reality throughout the majority of the relationship with your partner. When your partner’s alternating sweetness and rage suddenly defied everything you believed about him or her, you experienced an internal conflict known as cognitive dissonance. This created great self-doubt about your ability to predict a partner’s abusive potential in the future. As human nature asserts, you began to seek ways to remove the cognitive dissonance, most likely by denial.

How Emotional Abuse Creates Cognitive Dissonance

Prior to the abusive relationship, you always thought you were not the type to fall under somebody’s psychological manipulation, but you did. When your awareness of the relationship first changed from feeling loved to feeling mistreated, you may have told yourself that he or she was just in a bad mood…

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Vulnerable and Unashamed

Or so I’d like to think. I find myself stripped. The core of who I am, unable to hide from your searching gaze and soft smile. Something I used to both really hate and something I loved and needed. I pull my coat tighter thinking somehow that will shield my soul from the things I never wanted you to find out for fear you’d see me differently. A woman who has endured more than she ever should have to. Meeting your gaze tentatively, I feel a shiver quake through my body and I bite my lip slightly dropping my gaze to the table, trying to discern a pattern in the dots that fleck its scratched surface. I quickly blink back the tears that are threatening to fall and feel all the old memories come back in flashes.

I never wanted us to part. I withdrew into myself for a time, losing all the people who I thought were friends to their inability to be there for the person who needed it the most and couldn’t find the words.

Written while listening to a remake of the Scientist by Coldplay. Remake done by Aimee Mann

Breakfast With a Friend

Honestly, I’ve never been as excited in my entire life. This is a friend who was a second mother to me. She followed me through school until I graduated in 2009. Unfortunately, we lost touch for a long period. Next Thursday we’ll be catching up over breakfast. I am very happy and quite hopeful 🙂

Mapping the United Swears of America

Here ya’ll go

Strong Language

Swearing varies a lot from place to place, even within the same country, in the same language. But how do we know who swears what, where, in the big picture? We turn to data – damn big data. With great computing power comes great cartography.

Jack Grieve, lecturer in forensic linguistics at Aston University in Birmingham, UK, has created a detailed set of maps of the US showing strong regional patterns of swearing preferences. The maps are based on an 8.9-billion-word corpus of geo-coded tweets collected by Diansheng Guo in 2013–14 and funded by Digging into Data. Here’s fuck:

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A day in which I feel nothing

Yesterday was my biological fathers birthday. I haven’t spoken to or seen him in two years. I can’t call him dad because he never acted like a dad to me. Sure we played cards and had some good times, but that doesn’t erase all the horrible things he did. So to me, yesterday was just another day

How to Care for Long Hair

7 Signs You’ve Arrived as a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse

Recovering from narcissistic and emotional abuse can seem like an ordeal of the most grievous kind.

You may have endured months of struggle and suffering without knowing if you’re making any progress because the pull to go back remains strong. You miss the moments under your abuser’s sway because, in your traumatized mind, cognitive dissonance and memories of so-called “good times” cloud your objectivity.

How do you know where you stand on your road to recovery? Victory isn’t always in-your-face. Arriving as a survivor of narcissistic abuse comes in waves, even ripples, but if you experience the following seven signs, you can feel gratified knowing that healing is within your reach.

1) You’ve begun to appreciate that self-care is something you need to participate in consistently. Not only because you are healing from emotional abuse, but because healthy people in general understand the importance of putting on their oxygen…

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the semicolon project

hpwritesblogs

Today I went to a tattoo artist, and for $60 I let a man with a giant Jesus-tattoo on his head ink a semi-colon onto my wrist where it will stay until the day I die. By now, enough people have started asking questions that it made sense for me to start talking, and talking about things that aren’t particularly easy.

We’ll start here: a semi-colon is a place in a sentence where the author has the decision to stop with a period, but chooses not to. A semi-colon is a reminder to pause and then keep going.

In April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. By the beginning of May I was popping anti-depressents every morning with a breakfast I could barely stomach. In June, I had to leave a job I’d wanted since I first set foot on this campus as an incoming freshmen because of my mental…

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July!!!

Happy July and happy 4th to all my US readers. I hope it was relaxing yet festive:)

Knight

Stop looking for a knight in shining armor. You want a knight in beat up armor. They’ve fought. A knight in shining armor has done nothing

On a note: today is a happy day all over the USA. SCOTUS has made it official that gay marriage is legal in all 50 states.

Design Changes

As you can see now I’ve changed my theme to make it easier to read and to me it looks prettier. What do you all think? Comments, Questions?

Forum to visit!

If you are a Sims player, visit here http://penguin-party.boards.net for good conversation and honest banter and debate. The forum is independent of EA, and they foster a kind and honest environment and welcome all kinds of Sims players, whatever games they love-we even have sections for all the side games too! So go check it out and tell them I sent you 🙂

How Do Video Game Publishers Continue To Get Away With Mistreating Their Customers?

Everyone should read this article!!!

Morning Thoughts

When asked if someone can be a big douche my reply is anyone can you just have to want it. Also is there a coffee drinkers anonymous? I might be addicted. On that note, here sleep for ten hours, you’ll have tons of energy. *Wakes up* Here and drink this coffee it’ll really kick start your energy. *Gets to work* WHERE THE HELL IS MY ENERGY???

He’s Not All Bad and Other Dangerous Fallacies

It’s hard to admit, but…

You’ve been lying to yourself about your partner.

There’s an ever-widening gap between the person you want him to be and the person he really is. You have an idea of what constitutes a healthy relationship, yet you forgive your partner when he commits serious relationship grievances because, after all, he’s not all bad.

It started out small, didn’t it? You caught him in a “minor” lie, but he had a somewhat reasonable explanation for it. When you put two and two together, his justification seemed sensible, so it changed from being a lie to a “slight misunderstanding”.

Then, when it kept happening, he turned your attention away from the fact that he was lying to your being “suspicious, needy, and insecure”. So that when you’d catch him in another lie, he’d simply rage about your always watching his every move and how he couldn’t…

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Are you leading me?

2+2=4 right? And no I didn’t suddenly forget the answer. I’m using this equation to ask a philosophical question. Some questions only have one right answer. Why is that? We are taught to think for ourselves so until we learn for example that 2+2 does in fact equal 4, couldn’t we, to ourselves say it equals say…6 or something? Or let’s say you (the reader) and someone else (your friend) are having a discussion and you both look to me for advice or my opinion. Why if when it’s a disagreement would you ask me who’s right and then get mad at me because I didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear? I am an introvert and as a result I don’t talk much. When you are talking to me, I don’t talk much because in my mind I’m busy putting the pieces together to form a full and informed opinion based on my understanding of the situation. There should never be anything wrong with that. So why does society insist so much on leading us to conclusions? In the law that’s called “Leading the witness” and that’s when and “Objection” will be raised. So stop leading and expecting me to follow. I will draw my own conclusions.

Nancy Drew!

I’ve been spending the last week playing Nancy Drew games and it’s renewed my love of the series. 🙂 On a morbid side note are graves six feet deep so that’s what they mean when they say someone needs to be six feet under?

Revelations and then some

I love my family. I really do. Sometimes however, I feel like I’m 2 years old. I don’t have the words to express how I feel about certain things and it’s really frustrating because I can be very eloquent and yet my feelings are so backwards and I can’t make sense of them myself. If I can’t make sense of things myself how am I supposed to explain them to others? I keep trying to tell myself that feeling more than one emotion about a situation is normal but it feels like my brain can’t compute when I feel more than one emotion. Nothing is black and white but I want it so much to be black and white so I don’t have to deal with all this nonsense of conflicting feelings and junk. Awesome…just needed to rant

Happy June!

I’ve been around but I haven’t had any big breakthroughs that I’ve wanted to write about. How’ve you all been?

Emotional abuse and covert narcissism

Covert narcissism (or any covert, cluster B personality disorder) is very difficult to put your finger on. Many people waste years of their lives with covert narcissists trying to figure out what the heck is going on. Once they discover that it could be covert narcissism, they waste further time questioning if it’s really the case or not.

The reason for this is that many of us do not have clear in our minds what abuse is. We often think of abuse as only being physical and don’t clearly define what emotional abuse is. On top of this, covert narcissists are very good at covering up emotional abuse, denying that they are being emotionally abusive and actually projecting it on to you to the point where you doubt your own instincts and start to believe that it is you who has the problem.

Covert emotional abuse is very real and…

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Keeping The Personal From The Professional

Hmmm

I went to my first blogging conference at the weekend – Blog Camp UK 2015 – that was hosted by the team at Tots100. It was a last minute decision – I discovered the event after it was trending on Twitter at 8.30am, and by 10.00am I had signed up, downloaded a ticket, got myself ready and was standing outside The Studio in the centre of Birmingham.

It was a brilliant experience – there were lots of food, mummy and lifestyle bloggers from all over the UK, eager to participate in the different workshops that were available, from creating a travel blog, working with brands and vlogging, to metrics, monetizing food blogs and eating yourself happy.

One in particular caught my eye, and it turned out to be one of the most inspiring 45 minutes that I’ve experienced in a while. Presented by Becky Goddard-Hill (@babybudgeting) and Penny Alexander (@PennyAlexander_)…

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Love Yorself.

Do you know how hard that is? When tellings of what a failure you are, how you’ll never amount to anything, put downs. They run through you like a stream of oil. Black ickyness. It’s really sad when someone asks you what your good qualities are, what you like about yourself and you can’t think of anything….*sigh*

The Real Truth, Or The Truth We Want To Believe?

Hmmm

My mother once said something to me that I deemed to be very profound and I have never forgotten it:

There are two types of truths: the one we want to believe, and the real truth.

There have been many situations where I have deceived myself into believing that situations were different to reality. I stayed with a sociopathic ex-boyfriend for far too long because I wanted to believe that he loved me, despite the appalling way that he treated me. I’ve continued with friendships that I knew had changed, simply because of the familiarity I felt and the length of time I had known them. I’ve ignored my intuition and repeatedly allowed myself to be taken advantage of by others on many occasions because I wanted to believe that they were good people, and I’ve found myself being emotionally burnt time and time again.

This self-deception, or even willful…

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Wow!

After adding up the numbers, I have 150 followers. Thank you all so much! Give yourselves a round of applause! Your continued support means more than words can ever say. On that note, back to sleep I go. Goodnight my dears 😀

Sh*t Parents!

What. The. Fuck?

THE EDITOR'S JOURNAL

Botox Baby

This mother had attention drawn to her a little while back because she would regularly inject her 8 year old with botox. She believed that she was helping her daughter to become a superstar and that later in life with her wrinkle free face she would become a famous singer or actress or celebrity.

The little girl had told the media that she had been crying from the pain at the beginning, but that the pain subsides after a while.

Dangling Baby

In another of our stories, I brought you the woman who tattooed gang insignia on her screaming baby and just a few days ago some parents were in hot water for dangling their baby, (Michael Jackson style) over a cheetah enclosure in Cleveland USA. Unlike Michael Jackson, they dropped the child!

The cheetahs, having exhibited more class and intelligence than the ‘parents’ (and likely…

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Life learning

A very hard skill to hone is to be open and candid with others. Our fear of rejection and lack of others caring prevents us from being able to hone such an important life skill. How will people know what we are thinking and really feeling if we don’t talk to them about it?

Happy Birthday Dear…David Tennant

Happy birthday love!

Nice looking people?

No. A vase looks nice. A work of art looks nice. When someone says nice looking people, to me that doesn’t work. To me, nice can refer to the weather or to the day in general as in “have a nice day.” How can a person look nice, unless you mean the clothes they are wearing. Trying to say someone is nice looking and you aren’t talking about their clothes, but their looks (smile, eyes, skin, dimples etc.) is weird to me. Nice in that sense should mainly refer to personality. And how can you tell someone looks like a nice person? I could be a total bitch! Photos don’t change even when the people in them do

Enjoy? No I don’t

To use the word “enjoy” is to me the equivalent of lacy cuffs on sleeves. Itchy and it’s a word that makes me feel sad…it’s weird but it just makes me inwardly cringe

Doing a lot of Thinking

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist. However a feminist shouldn’t really be the word. By definition a feminist is a person who wants the same thing for both genders. Gender equality. I am a sapiosexual meaning I am attracted to people for their intelligence and personality, not their looks really. I believe in waiting until YOU feel the time is right to get married or have sex, drive etc. I will not do these things when society dictates me to. There are laws we live by and that is so we don’t get arrested or go out murdering people on a killing spree. It is so we can live cohesively as a nation and on a smaller scale a state, smaller still a town. We should not have to do things as society dictates because that would mean we all graduate at 18, for example. Some of us it may take longer to finish school. So what if we aren’t the societal definition of “normal?” Is that really a bad thing? If we all did the same things at the same time we would be in a world of sameness with no color, no difference. Is that what we want as a culture?

We should embrace our differences, scream it to the world and learn to understand others rather than shun them. If we all thought we were always right about everything, this is why we have wars going on. We need to embrace and celebrate differences. Not shun them

I have something to share.

I don’t feel God did anything or will do anything for me. I’m strong and will do things on my own, make my own decisions, so on so forth and what have you, without any divine help or intervention

A Book of Triggers – By: Jason C. Cushman

Dream or Nightmare

I’ve been having some very unsettling dreams recently and they’re very vivid. Now here’s my question. What makes a dream a dream and a nightmare a nightmare?

Weird Things to Say in Chatrooms – Mario

Haha!!

Open that door.

Very moving and deep

Happy Birthday Dear…Eddie Murphy

Orbs of Thought

Do you ever think late at night? Those deep thoughts that no one else could possibly understand? I do, a lot. This morning I was thinking about our thoughts. Like orbs swirling around at light speed, like electricity through a wire. When we talk about our thoughts, an orb gets released out into the world. Swirling balls of light and energy. The longer we hold them in the larger the orb gets. When we have a headache, we have too many orbs in our head needing to get out.

Celebarities and Tabloids, Newspapers and the Like

I learned this past week that one of my favorite musical artists was admitted to the hospital after being found unconscious in her home on Tuesday afternoon. I found this on Buzzfeed through Facebook. Why am I telling you all this? Because I love music and all artists, however there is a certain amount of guilt and general ickiness they must feel at knowing their name gets plastered all over the tabloids and newspapers. I know they must like preforming for a time but at the same time they want to be in the shadows where their face won’t get plastered just because they bought something at the supermarket. I personally feel ashamed of myself for occasionally picking up a tabloid and leafing through it…

What are your thoughts?

Happy Birthday Dear…Rhea Perlman

Happy birthday!!

Write Away

Agreed

Isabella Morgan

I want to write away my frustrations – put them down on the screen so I can erase them again. But that doesn’t work, does it? Because until I let them loose send them away on the wind, out into the universe where they can get lost in other people’s thoughts–where they can mingle and be part of something else–they keep coming back. My frustrated writings are like boomerangs that I can only catch with my forehead, or like a cuff around the ear. Ever been hit by a frustrated boomerang? I think they twirl faster than regular ones.

So mingle away, frustrations!

I feel better already.

You’re saying it all wrong

Heehee

Monsters

When you were little, did you have a monster underneath your bed? A figment of your imagination? A demon?

You were a child. Your monster was responsibility and growing up and all that comes with it

Drop in the Bucket

I don’t blog as much as I used to. I don’t feel creative writing wise anymore. It’s a quiet realization that I’m not happy about. I do appreciate the comments, follows, likes, and the support I’ve received over the three years I’ve been blogging. Lack of discipline and creativity. Everything you all have done does still push me to keep trying. Thank you!

Dear WordPress Support

Just so you all know

Teacher Sues School Over Her Phobia of Children

What the hell is this nonsense?!

Happy Birthday Dear…Bryan Cranston

Happy belated birthday

What Colors/Colours… do you see in?

Such wisdom and perspective 🙂

Nice

Despite dealing with that…monthly evilness all women deal with, I managed to get all my work done and my desk spotless within two hours, and that was after being out for two days for my dentist appointment and my standard day off 🙂 I feel slightly accomplished!

Now only if I could learn to swallow pills, but of course my brain is telling my body “none of that shit”

My Health and Beauty A to Z

I love this! Thank you for sharing:)

RIP mr. Nimoy

In happy news today I’m getting more tasks to do at work after finishing shredding ten boxes of stuff in just over two months. Yay!!!

In sad news today we say goodbye to the very talented Leonard Nimoy who made it big in Hollywood with his role as Mr. Spock, the intelligent and philosophical Vulcan on Star Trek. Mr. Nimoy passed away today in his home from COPD, a disease brought on by smoking which he gave up thirty years ago.

Live long and prosper

If Beauty and the Beast Happened in Real Life

Ha!!!

New Word

emotional hangover- when you feel so mixed up in your head regarding your feelings and thoughts on a subject and you ruminate like crazy trying to figure it out because you don’t want to talk and yet you do but can’t find the words to express it verbally. You feel emotionally drained

3 years already?

Wow! How time flies. I’ve been registered here on wordpress for three years and what a wonderful three years it has been. I’ve met so many people and have had many deep and profound philosophical discussions with them. Though I don’t post as much as I did when I first started my blog last August, I’m still thankful nonetheless for the relationships I’ve formed over the years

A Rant about Memes

I don’t have to post a picture to prove anything. My views are my views and it’s too bad if you don’t like it

Facebook is littered with them – memes which state that if you care about something you must prove it by re-posting a picture with a bunch of often grammatically incorrect sentences or misspelled words. Things like, “If you want cancer to cured, re-post this in the next twenty seconds,” or “Share if you think animals have rights too.” Of course I want a cure for cancer to be found, and I certainly can’t stand to hear about animals being mistreated, but I never re-post these things – I don’t feel that I need to prove the way I feel to anyone.

But the one that really gets me are the “children with special needs need to be treated like anyone else” memes.

Like this one:

No. No, no, no, no, no. I won’t re-post this on Facebook. (Yes, I know it’s going to show up in my feed when I…

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The Berry It’s A Girl Thing: Best girly shit

Relax everyone!!

FanShip App by Gone Catawampus

This is amazing! Share with all your friends

Ship (verb): to support or have a particular interest in a romantic paring between two characters in a fictional series, often when this relationship is one portrayed by fans rather than depicted in the series itself.

Hello!

Are you part of a fandom?

Have you ever created a geeky-themed craft or cosplay?

Do you obsess about a character?

Do you fangirl/fanboy squeal when you see adorable pictures of the character and/or actor on pinterest or tumblr?

Have you spent hours of your life immersed in their lives through comics, TV shows, movies, or books?

Do you feel that entitles you to decide the ultimate romantic fate of your favorite character?

Well, we have the app for you!

FanShip is a brand new app that lets you decide and advertise which pairings you’d like to see.

Are you a classic Superman/Lois Lane shipper or are you more of a hardcore Superman/Wonder…

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Writing into the Void

Another perspective 🙂 thank you

Empire of Sludge

Occasionally I have to work the nerve up to writing where the whole world can see, I’d be lieing if I claimed I didn’t. One of the best ways I’ve found to do that though is through writing where no one sees. I’ve even got a third blog, private, that’s just for me. To write through the nerves, or the lack of ideas, or… whatever else. Because I like writing, but I don’t always have my head in the right place to be speaking from a pulpit in front of others (which is kind of what I do here, whether I think of it that way or not). I need to feel, well, like I’m writing into a void. Like I’m writing to no one at all. Just writing. That’s usually the most enjoyable way I write.

The sharing, the presentation of it, the comments, all come second to that I…

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Breaking Up with a Narcissist

Hmm. Something to think about

“Breaking up with a Narcissist”. These are common search terms that lead people to Let Me Reach. While I am glad that readers are searching for ways to end their toxic relationships, I usually feel a little anxious for them because I know that “breaking up with a narcissist” is no easy feat.

Generally, when partners of a Narcissist start searching for ways to end the relationship, they often believe that doing so will offer them quick liberation from the agony they’re experiencing. After all, when we feel depressed or anxious, we simply make an appointment with a therapist and he or she will likely prescribe pills to deal with difficult emotions. We can schedule a massage and experience fast relief from pent-up stress. Finding information that we want is as simple as entering search terms into our web browser. Because we live in times where instant gratification is so…

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Happy February!

Happy February! The month of love! What a stupid thing to say hmm? You should love the people who have good intentions and who care about you all year round.

In other news, it’s still early in the year but I already feel I’ve let myself down since I haven’t been writing every day, either in my journal or on my blog.

Enjoy your February everyone 🙂

2015: No More People Pleasing

I want this book

Changes!!

First of all happy new year everyone! I hope your holidays were bright and cheerful.

Secondly, I’m making a lot of changes in my digital life. I’m starting to clean up my Facebook of old friends, past things that shouldn’t be unearthed, that sort of thing. I have a job I’m very lucky and proud to have, an amazing group of coworkers whom I have a great pleasure of knowing and I’m really starting to grow up.

I’m making these changes as I have no interest in partying or overly silly social friendships. By that, I mean I want friends who I can have deep, intellectual discussions with. I don’t want to go to a mall and people watch. I only shop when I absolutely have to or want to treat myself, both of which are seldom unless you count food, books, art supplies.

That’s all that’s new with me. How have all of you been?

Private? No, Not I

What do you guys think if I post my story of survival on my blog? Names would be changed but would you read it? Please comment as I’ve been struggling with this decision. Thank you!

Kitt O'Malley

You own everything that happend to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.
– Anne Lamott

Confidentiality:
we ask that you keep confidentiality for anyone else who may have played a challenging role in your recovery journey. Even if you don’t mention a specific name, be careful that the identity could not be easily inferred due to an immediate relationship, such as parent, etc. This includes facilities and/organizations as well as individuals.
– DBSA’s Guidelines for Life Unlimited Stories

Then, there’s this: I have a tendency to exaggerate. I do not lie, but I am known to have a flair for the dramatic. So when my uncle read my piece about my father’s dementia, he became very alarmed, not knowing that my father is still quite sharp. My dad’s definitely still smarter than your average bear (Yogi Bear reference, for…

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Happy New Year!

I have one goal so far! I’m going to write every day either on my blog or in my journal. Happy new year to you all! Do you have any resolutions or goals?

To post or not to post?

A lot has happened to me this year and I need to get it all off my chest. At some point I may do that. A lot of it is rather…dark. I feel like my blog has turned to a big pile of mush since I’ve been transcribing my journal over the past few days.

A journal by nature is private, personal, not for prying eyes but for those who need to write. Maybe I’ll either turn my current blog into a journal or make a new password protected blog.

Hey, it would give me a reason to write every day 🙂

Happy holidays!!!

Don your silly sweaters and make fondue, roasts and other delicacies for a festive holiday feast 🙂 don’t forget to include Christmas music

You’ll Deprive The World.

Very true. However, I’ve never been happier as of late. May it continue!

Snow!

Snow has bloomed across my blog and I’m making plenty of changes. I’m going to start posting a lot more since I have more time and I feel more relaxed, in a writing mood 😀

Why Go No Contact with the Narcissist?

For healing it’s very important to keep no contact going for as long as you can. Even after the order has expired, have the discipline to keep it going without the help of the legal system.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/14/women-writers-infographic_n_5675866.html

If you’re reading this article, it’s likely that you’re searching for reasons why No Contact is the best way to sever ties with the Narcissist in your life. You may have already read some material and are now confused with all the conflicting information out there, or perhaps you haven’t yet found anything that resonates with how you’re feeling at the moment.

Perhaps you found suggestions, tips, and reasons such as:

No Contact gives you the upper hand and the last word
It’s the most hurtful narcissistic injury you could inflict
It provides you with much-wanted revenge
It’s a great form of punishment
It’s a great way to make the Narcissist miss you

…and the list goes on.

If you’ve been mistreated, discarded, and/or found out your partner has been unfaithful, the above suggestions may seem appealing. However, none of them are good reasons for implementing No Contact.

The best reasons…

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we’re scared.

Something that is indeed very true

Posting schedule wonders

I remember back when I started my blog and made a name for myself in the little corner of the Internet I call home, I was posting three times a day. As my schedule got busier with school, my posts were maybe two times a week. Now that I’m out of school because I want to work instead, I feel like I should be back to my old schedule of posting. I’m not though, and it’s kind of sad to me. I don’t have my blog for the views really, I just noticed I get a little pang of sadness when I realize how low my views have gotten. Maybe life hasn’t been that interesting as of late. Hmmm…

What are your thoughts on the frequency of postings in a blog?

Beginning December thoughts

To everyone who has completed NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo, I salute and applaud you. December starts tomorrow and it’s the last month of the year. It seems like just yesterday we were all ringing in the new year! Happy December and enjoy the coziness of snow falling as you curl up in front of the fire with your cinnamon hot cocoa and a good book

Happy thanksgiving to all!!!

I hope you all have a plentiful thanksgiving full of great food and good times with your loved ones!

112 followers!

Thank you everyone for the very insightful comments on my posts and the great discussions we’ve had!

they don’t understand.

It’s very true. Speak out to anyone until you are heard!!!

Writing and other things

I’m writing a book about my life growing up and when I was depressed up to the present day. Since it has my family in it, the names have been changed to respect their privacy. Then I’m going to write others from the other characters points of view as it pertains to growing up with me. What do you think?

Also, I hope you all have a nice thanksgiving holiday!

Message to the Wondering

Very true and inspiring

The importance of just being there

When your struggling with anything, this is a very important thing that others need to understand

I have always been of the belief that when words fail (and in some circumstances not even words can help) then just being there is enough.
Unfortunately it took the events of the past two weeks to reinforce this belief but I am glad that it did.
So many people have difficulty in expressing what they feel.
They believe that they just don’t have the words or the situation makes them feel uncomfortable so they just pull back and don’t communicate at all.

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I Used To Love Him #1: Kiefer Sutherland

Hehe

A Voluptuous Mind

Where have all the cowboys gone?

I was reminded this morning of my gargantuan crush on Kiefer Sutherland back when I was still a kid. It all but evaporated the minute he (allegedly) cheated on Julia Roberts back in the early nineties, but until I decided he was no longer worthy of my love, I was obsessed.

Looking back I think I fell for him in The Lost Boys, aged just ten (Me, not him, obvs). His character wasn’t exactly heart-throb material, being an evil vampire an’ all but I liked him all the same. A year later came Young Guns and suddenly, something was stirring within me.

I’m confident it wasn’t sexual desire, though maybe subconsciously as I broke through into early adolescence, but I wasn’t really thinking in those terms then. I can’t explain what it was but it was there and so were the posters on…

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November thoughts

Happy November everyone and may it be a great one. For those participating in NaNoWriMo and NaNoBloPoMo, write on!!!

Halloween!!!

Be safe and have a great one 🙂

Comcast Sucks! Sucks!! SUCKS!!!!!

This is crazy! Please get the story out to everyone!!!

Bipolar On Fire

If you live in the United States then you’ve probably heard stories of Comcast’s awesomely shitty service. Allow me to add mine to the record. I had Comcast internet, cable tv and home phone service at my last home. In order to have Comcast home phone service, a Comcast-furnished modem was provided. At the time that I moved out of my home, I went to the Comcast Service Center in Boulder and returned all of the equipment, i.e. the modem, cable tv tuner and remote control. I got a receipt showing that I returned all of those items.

A few weeks later, I started receiving emails from a Comcast representative stating that I hadn’t returned the modem, and that I had three days to do so. I responded to the email stating that yes, I had returned all of the equipment, and I attached a copy of the receipt that…

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Columbus Day!!

Happy Columbus Day everyone. I hope you’re all taking the day to relax 🙂

October!

Cider doughnuts, apple cider, fudge, pies, pumpkins, candy, the leaves changing. What is your favorite thing(s) about October and why?

I love all of it since I live in the northeast of the U.S., the fall is really pretty. My birthday in November, can’t believe I’m going to be an old wise soul. The only thing I don’t like and its a texture thing is carving pumpkins. It to me is just gross. I don’t mind passing out candy too much if only people could tell that when lights are off and curtains closed, don’t cry by, we need our sleep

My Apologies

I have been locked out of my account for the past few days so I haven’t been posting. School is going really well and I’m going to be editing my resume soon in order to help me get a job. I’ve noticed over the last few weeks how interesting, confusing and yet enlightening it is to learn things about yourself that you never really were able to accept and deal with until now. I feel very intrigued and interested to keep learning all I can about who I am. I feel like I’m not the person I once was. Pain and circumstances have changed me and I feel like each day is a day for change

Guest Post – I Am A Feminist: 10 Reasons Why

A very important read for everyone. Under no circumstances is any of this behavior ok!!!

Let go?

Can you let go in a toxic relationship or in a friendship easily? What’s your process? Do you delete their number and get rid of all the things they gave you as a final goodbye? I’m curious everyone. Or is it difficult and you’re left awake at night wondering if you made the right choice?

I’m not trying to bring anyone down or anything, I’m just wondering out of curiosity how you handle letting go of toxic people.

My 200 likes

I thank you all so much 🙂 school is getting very busy and I’m determined to do my best with everything I’m working on. I’m sorry I’ve gotten off my posting schedule that I had set up last year. I’ve been stuck in my blog without a direction for a long time.

Today l learned that my teacher has a blog and I feel very excited about it

First or third world?

So people talk about having first world problems but my thinking is we are the third planet from the sun so wouldn’t every problem anyone has be a third world problem?

Kanye West the Asshole

This is really damn insane. What an asshole for not accepting differences. I hope everyone sees this and boycotts your music

A nice weekend

I’m back from a weekend trip to Maine with my family. We spent a few hours wandering through an Art in the Park fair where artists come to showcase their work and hopefully get patrons to buy them. What a beautiful festival!

Followers?

Does anyone else think it’s weird that wordpress has followers. There should be another name. Why don’t we call our

followers

readers and our

readers

our papers or something? This isn’t twitter! Our blogs should have readers not followers!

Congrats bro!!!

I’d like to publicly congratulate my awesome wonderful brother on getting his masters degree in physics. It’s been a long journey I know but I’m glad you finally conquered this mountain. Onward to victory Linden!

1,800 already!

Wow! I don’t know how to express my undying gratitude for the number of views. I can’t really be that interesting to all of you?

300 finally

I’ve passed 300 posts on my blog and it’s been 13 months since I’ve had my little corner of the internet. My home on the web. As stuck as I’ve been with blogging lately, I’m glad I’ve finally passed this milestone. I’ve really grown into my little home here. I want to hear your thoughts.

What, if anything should I change about my blog?

Do you have anything special or any suggestions on what you’d like me to write about?

A great actress

Today Joan rivers passed. Quite a shame and a loss felt across America

reinvent ourselves.

What an inspirational and happy thought 🙂

Happy Labor Day everyone!

Enjoy this day and take time to think of the veterans and laborers who worked so hard defending our country.

10 reasons why growing up isn’t that bad.

I find this very true and funny

Senses or Abilities

I had an interesting discussion on the way home from my art class this afternoon with my roommate.

If you had to lose one or two senses or abilities which would they be?

(EX: You can’t be leg-less and still have your feet so that would be combined your ability to walk if you decided you could live without it.)

Me? I’d lose my sight definitely because I could have been permanently blind. I’m not sure on my other sense so I’m sticking with this one. I couldn’t bear to lose the ability of speech or use of my hands since the idea of not being able to communicate terrifies me and I use my hands to hold my paintbrush 🙂

Discuss in the comments, I’m really interested to hear your thoughts

School soon

I’ll be throwing myself into school next week and I’m very excited 🙂 Though I feel I’m having a blog crisis. Lately, I’ve been wondering if I should stop blogging altogether. No it’s not a cry for attention so much as I don’t have many profound things to write about and some things are too personal that I don’t think in good conscience I can write about. Though sometimes I also think that writing about those moments would help me find perspective and help to untangle the jumble of thoughts.

I’d really like your opinions as the thoughts of my followers mean a lot to me

What do you think? Should I write about them and get them off my chest while writing in such a way that I won’t divulge identities? Or should I stop blogging altogether until I can figure out a direction for my blog?

My job shadowing

So the person I’ve been shadowing for almost two weeks offered me an internship! In addition to another shadow I might be doing and my class starting soon, I’m going to be very busy 🙂 I’m very excited!!!

Law to protect

There is a law being put into effect soon that will give jail time to people who abuse their spouses. Rejoice!!!

What a very interesting article

INFOGRAPHIC: Are Women Better Writers Than Men?

It’s Hard to be Inspired These Days!

The struggle is very real and quite a frustration for many, myself included. Why do I have all these great, crazy ideas at 3am?

10 Notes From the Cat

Very funny 🙂

Communication is key in any relationship, whether it is with your significant other, friends, or pets. However, my cat has stepped it up with passive aggressive notes all over the house. Here are a few. Enjoy!

-Sporadatak

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2014/08/11/robin-williams-is-dead/13925199/

4 hours

I went to bed at 10 pm and woke up at 2am on the dot. Now I’m tired but my mind won’t shut down and I have work this morning. Grrrrr. Any who, I’ve been doing a lot of file organizing for different people at my job shadow. It’s tedious work and I get a little frustrated with myself if I can’t find a file because at my old job if I couldn’t find a file…let’s just say the sky would be falling. There’s a part of me that gets irritated with myself when they tell me not to worry because I want to try my best and persevere at my task. I don’t know. I guess there’s a lot I need to work on

1,700 views!!

Thank you so much everyone for all the views. Exactly 121 days after I amassed 1,400 views, I’m here at 1,700. I’ve been busy lately so I haven’t posted too much…more just trying to catch up after posting sporadically recently, not my usual schedule at all. I hope everyone has a great rest of their summer as school resumes in a few weeks

Goodbye Robin Williams

I myself just read of the loss of my all time favorite comedian. Rest in peace you will be missed.

To anyone contemplating suicide…please talk to someone, go for long walks, write in a journal. There are numbers to call as well. Please don’t think for a moment you are locked alone in your head with your demons. Get help. Vitamin supplements work as well to combat depression

Happy…just really happy

So much has been going on these last few days and I can say I feel really happy. My job shadow is going really well and I’m crossing my fingers really hard that I’ll have a job before I start school on September 3rd, though I know that may be unrealistic. I still have hope and I’m learning so much. I feel like I’ve finally found an industry and (hopefully soon) a job I can be proud of. Have a great weekend everyone!

Day 1

I learned so much at my job shadow today 🙂 I’m so excited to keep working. I almost cried :’). It was just perfect learning from someone who is so laid back

Have a silly quote

“This grain of sand looks pretty suspicious. So does this rock. And I have a few questions for this little piece of grass”~-Patrick Star

A note of change

As you can see I’ve been changing my blog around a little. I’d like my followers to comment if they like it the way it is now or what I can do to change it some more. I feel a big overhaul is needed but I’m not sure what needs to be done and would like some input and advice. Thank you 🙂

A thought I was thinking

Inspired by the opinionated man over at harsh reality, I have a question. We are all busy and at times may feel uninspired. Do you think blogs should have an off season or should bloggers just post when they feel inspired?

Good relationship advice from Stephen Colbert

I saw this on the Huffington Post a few days ago. What a heartfelt question and answer session

Rhapsody Love

This video is worth sharing. This makes it easy to see the difference between the person and the character he plays on TV:

Ask a Grown Man: Stephen Colbert from Rookie on Vimeo.

August!!

When I have inspiration it’s like I can’t stop the words from flowing. Last month, I wasn’t feeling very inspired. Today marks the start of August. I start school in a month. My job shadowing starts next week too so hopefully I’ll have some interesting things to say about that too. I’m excited because I can actually start working again. I’ve been out of work since February so it’s a nice change to start working again. This summer was really weird. It’s been too hot though I guess that’s the definition of summer right? 🙂 I feel like when May rolls around, I can relax since I know I get four months off for summer break. At the time, I always welcome it but it seems come August I can’t wait to go back to school. That will change too though when I start working again. I feel like I’ve found the job that when I die I can say I died doing what I loved 🙂

Thoughtless

Imagine if you were told to sit and write or paint but you had no control over your fingers and wrists. You can’t think of ideas or plan anything by outlining or drawing beforehand. What would that look like? Would you write a long expose or paint sweeping strokes? Or would you try to control it and slow down making shorter strokes or more in depth writing?

“In the end we all have to choose”

Very true

A Headache

What is a headache to you? What does it mean. It comes when you’re tired and drained, even stressed. But what is a headache? Is it too many ideas in your head that all want to come out at once?

Happy 4th!

Happy Fourth of July everyone. What do the words

freedom

and

America

mean to you?

July and other things :)

Happy July everybody! To kick off this month I’m donating and possibly selling old books I don’t want to make room for new ones. Call it a summer cleaning. It’s about time anyway since last month I did that but with clothes 🙂

1600 then

I just passed 1600 views! Thank you so much 🙂 *hugs everyone and gives out free champagne and midori*

Privacy please?

Why should you have to confess anything? It’s your life. You are entitled to your privacy. You shouldn’t have to confess anything. I’m not just speaking in a church standpoint. We put so much of our lives out there. I’ve been better than I used to be. I mean I really put myself out there on Facebook. This applies to Twitter as well. It’s just been something that’s on my mind.

Thoughts?

company we think we want.

I agree but what an interesting thought

Puss In…Shoes?

What a cute post 🙂

Staind- “Outside” (acoustic)

I feel like all the dominos are falling at once

In My Head

Girls Get Friendzoned, Too! (#JuneJour Challenge, Day 9)

An interesting take on the dreaded friendzone

A quick wit

They call it a blog because

TELL ME I’M PRETTY

was too indulgently narcissistic

Guest Post: Finding our Way

What an interesting account of anxiety in a child

What does the word recovery mean to you

I want to hear your opinions on this so I can make a post explaining not only my views and thoughts but yours as well. I feel really intrigued and I hope I get a lot of responses.

technically over technology.

What an interesting realization. I never thought about this before

Green Thumb

What a heart spoken prose

5 Tips to Raising Independents Not Codependents

What an inspiring piece

Sunday Inspiration

Do you feel beautiful?

Things I Shouldn’t Do (but do anyway)

I’m ashamed to admit I do a few of these

Secrets

What a true statement to the chaos that resides inside of us

8 things that people assume about mothers that AREN’T true!

Funny stuff

In which this isn’t just about women

It’s ridiculous that anyone is treated this way with such stigma

1503 views!!!

Thank you everyone for the 1500 views I just passed. Your interest and caring to comment means a lot to me 😀

5 Relationship Tips as Explained by My Cat

Cute 🙂

http://www.huffpost.com/us/entry/5446865ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

Cat and Mouse Pad

1. Little Things Show You Care

Whether you are building a relationship with your mate or human, it is important to never take your significant other for granted. Make sure to give them plenty of headbutts and love nips and to purr excessively. Humans cannot hunt for themselves so bring in a bird, mouse, or insect as a treat. Climb all over them as they sleep so you can find that perfect spot. If you fall asleep on their lap, they won’t move for hours so they must be comfortable! When they do try to move, protest. They don’t get enough time for naps. Insist that they remain still (You have to think of their well-being!).

2. Allow for Personal Time

It important to trust your human. Sometimes you need to give them a full 10 seconds before you try to follow them into…

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Writing 3.1 – “He said, she said”

Heehee very interesting

brainsnorts inc.

I recently received a rather unexpected comment on something I had written, and I think I did a good job of responding politely. Like most writers, I greatly look forward to comments, either positive or negative. Naturally, we like the positive nods because it means, usually, we did something well. I pause with usually because there are readers who regularly write “great job” no matter how great or poor your “job” might have been.

Some of us actually prefer negative comments because there is always the potential for someone to accurately point out something that’s inaccurate. No matter how carefully we revise, there are always spelling, punctuation, or other errors we will miss. Just today I was lucky enough to have a friend find that I had written “were” when it should have been “where,” or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, my thanks to Sverrir.

Another…

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The Bullet Points

What an interesting take

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once again it’s time to throw this week’s headlines on Rant’s desk and watch that little vein pop on his forehead, as Long Awkward Pause presents:

The Bullet Points

Headline #1.)

Authorities confiscate $3M worth of shoes from Kentucky home

Rants: Lead investigator was quoted as making the comment, “All of them were just fabulous!”

Headline #2.)

Puppy drives car into Massachusetts pond

Rants: Then someone posts a picture that says, “Wow… So drive… Much accelerate.” Authorities arrest the puppy, and in a whole twenty minutes, #freethepuppy movements begin gathering signatures. Murrica.

Headline #3.)

Three cops in New Mexico’s infamous anal cavity search case still on job

Rants: Most disturbing here is the thought of what these men could possibly value so much by spelunking for it in someone else’s ass. One can only assume there are three in order to support a full, three-shift effort every day. Also, we need to…

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Westboro Baptist Church and Their BULLSHIT

That is the link to an article about a high school principal coming out of the closet during a pride ceremony at a local school in Washington DC. The Westboro Baptist Church calls this a shame.

I support LGBT immensely because things like this don’t offend me and I respect others sexual preferences and orientations.

The Westboro Baptist Church makes my stomach turn because they are so set in their “anti-gay mindset” that they try to shove it down people’s throats. You are entitled to your own opinions but don’t try to shove it down people’s throats. Makes me glad I can speak out and protest against their nonsense.

The stench of stigma

This article is very well written and it’s also very true. Not just mental health but differently abled people as well

tell your tragedy.

I’ve been thinking a lot of telling my story. Maybe one day I will

8 Guys You Should Never Fall For

I saw this on the huffington post and thought it was a very interesting article

8 Guys You Must Never, Under Any Circumstances, Fall In Love With
JUN. 2, 2014 By CHELSEA FAGAN

1. The one who messages you once a year to say something incredible.

Every so often, you’ll wake up to a text or a Facebook message from him, something about how he thought of you last night, or how he wants to see you, or when are you going to be in his city? It will fill you with a sudden whoosh of excitement and hope. But no matter how carefully you’ll try to reply to his messages — to seem casually interested, but not like you’re invested in his sudden attention — he’ll always fade away again, and you’ll somehow be left feeling desperate, even if he’s the one who reached out to you. You’ll delete his number from your phone to prevent yourself from drunk texting him, but you’ll still look at his profile every now and again.

2. The one who doesn’t like your friends.

He’ll hang out with them from time to time, because to not see them would be unreasonable, but he won’t like it. He’ll pout and text a lot and demand your attention, and then when the two of you are walking home, he’ll say nasty things about them. One time your friend will come over late at night, crying because she just got some very, very bad news, and the two of you will sit on your couch, drinking wine and talking until 3 AM. You’ll tell him about it the next day, and he’ll make an offhand comment about how your friends are “so fucking dramatic.”

3. The one with the interesting tattoos, who makes you say “yes.”

One day you’ll be standing outside of a house party, drinking a beer and talking to people you don’t really know. He’ll be sitting next to you on a cooler, wearing a frayed, deep-cut t shirt that shows off all of his interesting tattoos — black lines, strange symbols, words written too small to read from your distance — and rolling a small cigarette on an open pack of Drum. You’ll look down at him for a second too long, and he’ll say “Want one?” It will feel like some kind of royalty has chosen you out of a crowd. You’ll say yes, even though you don’t really smoke, and for the next three months, you’ll do a lot of things that you don’t really do, just because you want him to think of you as 20 percent cooler than you are. And then he’ll sleep with someone else, and you’ll be devastated, mostly because it won’t even count as cheating — you never even declared yourselves a couple in the first place.

4. The one who changes around his friends.

Let’s move forward with the current plan: If we spend one more minute deliberating on this I will be physically ill.
Your relationship will be like a secret that only the two of you can ever know about, and every time he’ll be in the same room as his friends, it’ll be like a light switch has suddenly been turned off. He’ll be cold, and sarcastic, and not want to do any of the charming, silly things the two of you like to do together in private. “I’ve seen you naked drinking milk in front of the refrigerator, you asshole,” you’ll think, “Don’t you act like you’re cool all of a sudden.” And suddenly, all you’ll want is for him to be kind in front of them, to prove that you’re not insane, and that the version of him you know in private really does exist. Then he’ll use the word “pussywhipped” in conversation once or twice, and you’ll realize that will never happen.

5. The one who is already with someone.

You’ll think that you can change him. You’ll think that, if you only present yourself as the perfect alternative to his current situation, he’ll leave her and fall madly in love with you. But all that will really do is make you hate her for no reason, and at best, make him cheat on her when he has the time. You’ll make your friends promise you that you’re not the other woman, even though everyone knows that you are, and somehow the only person who will get out of this situation without making any enemies will be him. And in four years, you’ll cringe at the person you were during that time.

6. The one who drinks too much coffee and is always working on a project.

You’ll meet him in the back of a coffee shop, looking intensely at his computer screen and drinking what is likely his third Americano of the afternoon. He’ll be wearing earth tones and glasses, and everything about him will feel warm and passionate and deep. You’ll ask him questions and all of his answers will be vague, and challenge the very construct of the question itself. He will be “freelancing” and “between projects” and “working on something right now,” but you’ll never see anything tangible come of it. You’ll leave him a few months in, and a year later, you’ll see him at the same coffee shop. Only this time, it won’t seem intense or earthy, it will just seem sad.

7. The one who gets you into music, but doesn’t really share it.

They have their own aspirations and hobbies. Want to know what happens when only one individual in a relationship has goals and pastimes? The person who has nothing to do gets upset at the one who wants to spend a portion of their day enjoying beloved activities or focusing on passion projects, and it’s a recipe for disaster.
He’ll seem so thoughtful and cultured, and play you records (real ones, because the sound is just that much better) while the two of you share a joint on the mattress in his bedroom. You’ll be afraid to talk during any of the songs, because you don’t want to mess up the mood or seem like you don’t “get” it, and you’ll spend nights at home poring over his favorite bands’ catalogs to seem like you are as much of a real fan as he is, and not just pretending to like them. And when you break up, you’ll come to hate that whole genre of music — mostly because you’ll be ready to admit that you never liked it in the first place.

8. The one who “isn’t ready.”

Everything will go perfectly, and make sense, and you’ll let yourself forget all of the signs from the beginning that it was never going to be serious. You’ll pretend not to notice when he doesn’t call you his girlfriend unless you do it first. You’ll pretend not to be bothered when he doesn’t offer to introduce you to his parents when they’re in town. You’ll pretend not to be devastated when, six months later, your whole relationship is reproduced with someone different than you, and he calls her his girlfriend every time he talks about her. You’ll keep telling yourself that he just “wasn’t ready” to settle down with someone, until you are finally far enough away from it to admit that he did want those things — he just didn’t want them with you.

Can you be friends with someone you’ve never met?

I am under the belief that people you become friends with online whether through Facebook or blogging, you develop a connection and that creates a friendship.

Child Sex Abuse

I feel the need to share this as I am a victim of abuse and it’s very important that everyone learn the signs so they can help

Saturday Night

On a Saturday night I sit…on my bed. Wondering…thinking the deep thoughts of an unsettled mind. A mind…a person, who’s up late at night. Blame an internet connection or blame the electric current that is your thoughts racing around your mind like a whirlwind. Today I had a very profound thought. I don’t have many of them but when I do…well *chuckles* I digress.

I listen to music all the time it seems. Yes I listen to it loudly. I feel like I do this because I’m so introverted. I feel like music quiets the thoughts in my head and the voices around me. Let’s the world vanish. I delve into the darker corners of my mind. Clean out the cobwebs. I have nervous tics. You wouldn’t know it by looking at me because I look normal and my physical issues aren’t that obvious. I wring my hands, wiggle my fingers, stretch until I hear the pop of my muscles, twirl my hair, play with prescription bottle rings.

Going out is difficult for me. Even if it’s with people I know. I get there and I try hard to talk to people but I rather just curl up with a book and read. It’s not their fault. I mean I can get through it but when I get home, I need to read or write and sometimes I fall asleep. It’s just really draining.

On the future and my thoughts

Will I get married? I don’t know. It worries me the idea that no one will be able to deal with my quirks and deep issues. My over firing nervous system. The way I flinch when someone touches me. I startle and scare easily. I have little interest in making new friends. No one’s fault but my own I suppose.

Will I have kids? The idea scares me greatly. Not just from the beautiful pain that is childbirth but will I be able support myself, my husband should I get married, and a child?

Living alone? I want at some point in my life, to be able to live on my own but I first want to make sure those I care about are taken care of and are happy.

There is a Reader out There for You

Very nice piece

I am but only three

Oh my word. Such sadness. I post this to say abuse is not nor will it ever be ok. If you know someone who is being abused, try to help them and urge them to get help. I know it’s a long and painful process but over time, the pain will lessen and you can heal

Painting the world

Very moving and well said

The Pulse of a Blog

Such a moving piece

In which this is a dispatch from the the wild place

This was very moving and brilliant

A letter, from me to you

I find this very true and well said

Breathe Into Me

This has many lessons and truths to it. Bravo!!!

The 12 Step Guide to Assembling Cheap Furniture

Very whimsical and funny. An entertaining read

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Knowing how to assemble cheap furniture is an important domestic skill that is often overlooked today. It’s not as valuable as learning how to iron out the perfect pleat, or how to remove alcohol-enriched vomit stains from your microsuede, but it’s up there.

Please note that no matter what type of cheap furniture piece you decide to purchase, the assembly procedure will always require a minimum of 12 steps. If you follow this how-to guide accurately, the procedure should end up being a complete pain in the ass. That’s how you’ll know you did it right.

Estimated time to complete average assembly: 7 hours – 2 weeks.
Level of competency required: none – very little.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Preassembly

After you’ve made your purchase, begin the preassembly stage by lugging the piece of shit into your living room, making sure to damage any walls and/or casual bystanders within close proximity to your…

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Suddenly I feel more popular!

I have no words that can show and express my gratitude and the number of likes, followers and comments I’ve gotten over the last few days. I’m so grateful and I hope you’ll stick around to read more from me

50 followers?!

Thank you Jason Cushman of Harsh Reality and The Opinionated Man. I’ll have to take part in your challenges more often. You helped me gain these followers and I am incredibly grateful. Thank you to everyone who is coming along for the ride as I deal with the ups and downs of life

A desire to grow up and yet…

I’ll admit it. I’m 23 and I haven’t left home. I don’t know. A part of me wants to move away…Chicago, New York, Boston, Virginia. I want to live in the city. I feel like I was made for the city, I really do. But yet…I have a deep love for my family and I don’t want to leave them alone until I know they’re well cared for. Maybe I’m not ready after all.

Brand? Direction?

How important is it to you to have or find a direction for your blog? Sound off in the comments

No Means No!

I need to share this as it strikes a nerve for me and I also feel it is very important that people understand this

When I was at University I worked at a local bar that was about ten minutes walk away from the apartment that I lived in. One Saturday afternoon I was on my way to a shift that started at 4.00pm. I was wearing a baggy blue checked shirt with the logo of the bar on it, long black trousers and a sturdy pair of black boots. I wasn’t wearing any make-up, my hair was tied up and I was minding my own business. Suddenly, I heard a man shout:

“Oi! Sexy! Where are you going?”

I turned around, thinking it was one of my friends. I didn’t recognise this man or his friend and so I turned around and carried on walking.

“Aww, don’t walk away! Where are you going? Give me your number!”

I ignored him, but the sound of his voice didn’t get any quieter. They were obviously…

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Maybe?

I procrastinate with my writing. I admit it. I can analyze it till I convince myself enough that I’m not lazy. Or I can just say I’m lazy and I feel unmotivated. I want to write. I really do! I just want to be able to have long eloquent posts that spark questions, debate, and general discussion. I have this deep need to write a long post and say “Look! I did it! I sparked a discussion!” I wonder if that stems from my underplaying want to feel validated and know that people like what I write? Or maybe I’m just a whiny person who has all these great ideas and is too afraid of the possibility of failure that I never follow through?

Oh…would you look at that? I’ve made a deep discovery of myself

Why?

Why is it that when I’m home, I write a lot but I don’t paint? I go to my art classes and paint. Hmm…

15 Signs You Are Being Gaslighted

Woah oh oh oh I feel like…a man?

I hate how when I need to vent, people want to offer me advice. If I need advice I’ll ask for it. I just feel so frustrated that when people offer advice it’s like I HAVE to follow it. Maybe I want to figure things out for myself and just have you listen. I need to be alone to write and sort out my problems. It takes a lot for me to ask for help. It’s when I’m crying and don’t know what to do. When I’ve thought and thought but haven’t been able to find a solution. This is why I crave solitude and feel drained after spending time with others. I’m an introvert and I just like time to myself. As contradictory as that sounds, I’m grateful when people just listen and talk to me but offering advice? I feel frustrated because I’m not at the point where I need it yet. That’s all

Wanting to write

I’ve been feeling stuck lately. Stuck writing wise I mean. I just haven’t wanted to write for my blog and yet I write in my diary more than I care to admit. I feel like there’s something wrong with me, that I’m stuck in this void of nothing. Where I can’t think a thought I want to blog about. Hmmm…I have to go talk to myself about this.

*5 minutes later*

I have discussions at length with myself to solve problems. I feel it’s not out of boredom but out of trying to solve your problems without others help. Thoughts?

23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23

I found this very inspiring though a bit silly 🙂

Wander Onwards

As 2013 wraps up, I’ve been noticing more and more people getting engaged and/or married under the age of 23.

I get it.

It’s cold outside… you want to cuddle and talk about your feelings… life after graduation is a tough transition… so why not just cut to the chase and get married, right? It’s hip. It’s cool. You get to wear clothing that wouldn’t normally be socially acceptable at the dive bar you frequent with the $5 beers. Eff it. YOLO. YOMO! You only marry once…

Oh wait.

The divorce rate for young couples is more than twice the national average. Divorce is no longer a staple in a midlife crisis, but rather, something that SEVENTEEN Magazine should probably be printing on. Headlines could read,

“How to budget for your prom AND your wedding in the same year!”

“What’s HOT: Kids raising Kids.”

“Why your Mom doesn’t really…

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23 Things You Should Actually Do Before You’re 23

This seems like a very interesting list. However, I fail miserably as I’m 23 and have done very little

At the end of 2013 I saw an article on ‘Freshly Pressed’ that caught my eye. It turns out, it also caught the eyes of thousands of others and over the last few days I have watched it as it has gone viral, spawning thousands of comments that both praise and vilify the author (even to the point where she has been labelled a ‘slut’ and a ‘whore,’ which I have been disgusted at).

I don’t have an opinion on the age that somebody should get married and I am certainly not using this as an opportunity to attack the author. A friend of mine, who married at the age of 22 and who now has two beautiful children once told me that she wanted to share her life with her husband and children rather than living it on her own first, and I thought it was a lovely sentiment…

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1,300 and other happy notes

I just passed 1300 views and I am ever so thankful for the visits, comments, likings, shares and so forth. I also want to wish all the moms out there, mine included because I don’t know where I’d be without her, a very joyous and happy Mother’s Day, filled with love and heartfelt tidings.

Drink The Bitter Sweet

Really speaks to the inner workings of a shattered soul

I Think Of You

This woman is a goddess of writing. You really should check out her blog

How Do We Live (Neither Here Nor There)

Very creative as always

I Passed Notes In School

I used to write notes and would get caught. Embarrassing but totally worth it. Now when I’m bored I doodle. A skill I started in 4th grade and it’s never let me down

teach from the heart

I have a confession to make. I passed notes in school; lots of them. In class, in the halls, at lunch, you name a place in the school, I passed notes there.They looked like this.

picture credit to www.heyjenrenee.com

Bigger confession: I wrote them in class. All the time.

And I got caught with those notes. Some teachers threw them away, some read them out loud (side note – that NEVER made me stop writing them, it just taught me to write more cryptically), but never did a teacher take away my paper and pencil.

So, what’s my point? I keep hearing and reading things about how our kids are addicted to technology and how their devices make them anti-social.

I can’t even count the number of times this Look Up video has crossed my Facebook or Twitter feed (and I won’t even begin to address the issue that we are…

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“Free-fall into what’s happening.”

I feel very tempted to take my blog down so I can rework it

The Daily Post

The Daily Post is taking a much-needed break for a few days, but we don’t want to leave you high and dry. We’ll be sharing some of our favorite quotes about the creative life.

(And yes, Daily Prompts, the Writing/Photo Challenges, and Blogging 101 will continue through the week — we’re not very good at taking breaks.)

Here’s Andre Dubus III, on how to get our of your own way when writing — it’s aimed at fiction authors, but the underlying idea applies to any writer:

Read more from Andre and other writers like Stephen King, Elizabeth Gilbert, Amy Tan, and Jonathan Franzen in The Atlantic.

This was my main problem when I was just starting out: I was trying to say something. When I began to write, I was deeply self-conscious. I was writing stories hoping they would say something thematic, or address something that I was wrestling with…

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Nerves and Electrical Charges

Do you ever feel like when you have a profound thought, you can’t let it go? When you can’t sleep at night because you’re thinking these profound thoughts, your mind is like a cell phone tower or like a vacuum of sorts. All the charges bouncing around and you try to grasp them so you can pick them apart to their rawest form and delve into what or why you were feeling a certain feeling when you thought what you were thinking? That’s what I want to understand, not just about myself but of others as well.

Comments anyone?

Do Not Faint

What a wonderful note of inspiration from miss Belinda

Reblog from terrible minds.com

This was a very interesting read but since I couldn’t find the reblog button or ping back to the daily post on mobile, I just copied and pasted. Enjoy

Ten Things I’d Like To Say To Young Writers
More and more I’m allowed the benefit of corrupting the minds of creative writing students out there in the world, which is awesome for me, and probably disturbing for them.

Regardless, as I am occasionally mistaken as some kind of “person who knows things” when it comes to writing, I feel like I have a few things I’d like to say to you Young Penmonkeys out there — those of you between the ages of, mmm, say, 16-21. Not to say this won’t also apply to others who want to be professional writers when you grow up, but it is aimed specifically at that age range both in terms of what I remember being like then (ugh!) and what I see when I meet these amazing, ass-kicking creative writing students.

I’m about to be 38 next week (my mantra being a loudly hooted NOT YET 40 WOOOO) and I had my first short story published at 18, and my first taste of professional writing work at… age 21? Or something like that? So, I’ve been out there quite a while. Which means you should listen to me.

*whacks you in the head with my old man cane*

LISTEN TO MY WISDOM YOU YOUNG PUNKS

You Do Not Require That Degree

You don’t get a creative writing degree because you need it. You get it because you want it, and because you have chosen a program that holy crap does what it’s supposed to do — teach you how to write a goddamn story. But don’t go for this degree hoping it’s some kind of Magical Wonka Ticket to the Dreamy City Of Authoropolis in the clouds — in all the writing I have done over the last 18 years, over the literal millions of words I’ve written, nobody, not one motherfucker on the paying side of the fence, has asked me about my degree. They want to know: “Can you write?” And then I write. It is a pure and wonderful relationship.

I’m not saying your degree is worthless. I’m happy I have mine because I really did learn how to hone my wordsmithy as a creative writing student. And besides, these days almost no degree is a Magical Wonka Ticket. Hell, I’m pretty sure most college degrees double-up as placemats and paper towels (though not particularly absorbent, I am sad to report).

And if you’re thinking about an MFA…

If you need it, great.

Otherwise: just get out there and write, yeah? Student loan debt ain’t awesome. That money is better spent on travel, life, experiences, crates of Ramen noodles, porn, boxed wine.

You’re Not That Good

Sorry! Nope. Not that good.

This will frustrate the vibrating fuck out of you because you want so badly to be good. Anybody does when they begin an endeavor, particularly when they’re young — you pick up a guitar or sit down at a video game or Try To Do The Sex and you’re basically clumsy thumbs and inward screaming and then a lamp breaks and someone is crying. You’re looking at published work. Or the work of your peers. And you want to be instantly that awesome. It’s frustrating to be not-that-good because you feel like, this is what you want to do, and you need to justify that desire now by putting out top-shelf, high-octane writing. And you’re young, so life feels shorter than it really is. You have time. This is, as I have said many-a-time, a long con, not a short game.

Ira Glass actually said a wonderful thing about this:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

But You’re Not Supposed To Be Good

You’re not actually meant to be good. Not being good is how you get better. Not being good means you’re in that formative, fundamental blobby parthogenesis period where The Authorial You just starts to emerge. Not being good is how we are forced to take the time to not just Get Good, but also Become Us. You’re not yet the Author That You Will Become. This is all normal. Be bold enough to suck with gleeful abandon — but also know that your critical urge to be better-faster-now is a good one. Don’t quit. Don’t rest. Force yourself to improve.

And You’re Still Probably Better Than You Sometimes Think

Let’s be honest. The Internet is mostly writers. We’re everywhere. Like roaches inside a hoarder’s house, feeding on whatever old pizza and dead chihuahuas got trapped under that collapsing stack of National Geographic magazines. We’re breeding like cats and rabbits. (“Crabbits?”)

Thing is, if you’re actually in a creative writing program, you’re probably better than a lot of the yahoos on the Intertubes who want to be writers. I’ve read some really awful things by some truly deluded people — people who do not have writing professors tell them, “This is actually very shitty. D-minus. Do better, for Chrissakes.”

So, no, you’re not that good.

But you’re probably better than you sometimes think, or fear.

And you’re almost certainly better than the delusional sub-layer of authorial treacle found on these here Internets. That’s gotta be worth something, right? Hell, most people can’t string together a cogent Facebook status update, so.

Worry Less About The Business Now

You want to ask about publishing and payment and all the perks of being a writer, I get that. And yes, every writer does get a special Members-Only jacket to begin with, and after that it’s like leveling-up your character in a roleplaying game. You can choose new Talents and Tricks. I can actually type with my tongue, for one. I also can transmogrify coffee into words!

But the publishing industry right now is like Los Angeles: it’s sitting squarely atop a giant trembling fault line, and constant earthquakes big and small continue to move the crusty mantle beneath our feet. So, by the time you’re ready to actually sell words, who knows what will happen? PERHAPS WE WILL ALL BE HUNTING EACH OTHER IN A DOOMED WASTELAND. Or maybe it’ll be limousines and eight-figure book-deals, I have no idea.

Point is, don’t sweat it. Don’t sweat genre. Don’t sweat medium. Learn as much as you can about the actual process of writing — think about narrative construction across multiple formats and aim to be well-read and well-taught across the spectrum. The industry will be what the industry will be when you get there. You’re not there. Worry about you and your work, not where you or your work will end up. Think present more than future.

This Is The Time To Write Whatever The Fuck You Want

Not thinking about markets or industry yet means: you can and should go bug-eyed apeshit cuckoo bananapants when it comes to your work. Write anything. Anything that itches so bad at your fingertips that to not write it would constitute a drug withdrawal reaction. Any genre. Any genre mix. Any medium. Any mix of media. Whatever. Fuck it. You are afforded an early chance at play-time. That’s what this stage is. It’s sand-boxes and cheap wine and you making your own toys without anybody telling you what your toys should look like.

Embrace it.

It’s Okay To Ape The Voices Of Others

You will try to sound like the authors you love. This is normal. This is okay. This is also perhaps often expressed as fan-fiction, and that is very rad. Again: this is play-time. So? Play.

Write Often And Write Enough And Your Voice Will Find You

You will chase your voice like a dog chasing a car, but you’ll never catch it. Because you were your voice all along. You were never the dog. You were always the car. You were never Jack. You were always Tyler Durden. And yes, Fight Club is just one big metaphor for becoming a writer. (Okay, maybe not.) (But maybe?) (Nah.) (Buuuut…)

You find your voice by doing. And by rewriting. You won’t want to rewrite now. You won’t want to edit. Edits feel like you’re not good, like you’re being insulted, like having to fix it means it was broken to begin with. But recognizing broken things is a value. A skill. You get as many shots at the goal as you want. Let that be freeing, not punishing.

In writing a lot and rewriting a lot, your voice will find you.

One day you’ll say: “Oh, so that’s what I sound like.”

And it’ll be amazing.

The World Will Lie To You About Being An Artist

Almost nobody in a position of Adult Responsibility thinks you should be a writer. Even your professors will probably, if pressured whilst drunk, quietly whisper: hurry, go learn accounting.

Being an artist is not a path that accords a lot of respect, which is almost ironic given how much our society is driven by art and artists — it is a monster-sized industry, and yet somehow everyone seems to think that it’s tiny and impenetrable, like an old-timey bank safe. A lot of this doubt comes from a good place. They want you to be safe and taken care of and admittedly, being an artist is a risk. Society all on its own doesn’t support artists very well (though it’s getting there, and I swear to Sweet Saint Fuck if anybody tries to take away my new guaranteed healthcare I will shiv them in the pancreas), and so people tell you not to be an artist and the cycle continues.

But creative work exists. It exists, and pays.

You have to get good doing it.

You have to learn how to make money doing it.

Art isn’t just Doing Art all the time, and this is why you should also learn other skills that your creative writing classes probably won’t teach you — from marketing to editing to business practices to how to budget and balance your bank accounts and pay your taxes. I know, ew, taxes. But this is how being an artist is done. Your parents or whoever will tell you just not to bother. I’m telling you to bother, but gather the skills needed — skills that go wellh-beyond writing, painting, singing, or other art-making.

(A small rant of mine is that so many creative writing programs are way over-focused on writing — particularly writing literary books rather than genre-flavored anything. Art programs in general need to teach more than just the creative stuff. Because you have to also survive at being an artist, and in that survival, practical skills are key.)

Finish Your Shit

But then it all comes back to this.

You will never be the writer you want if you cannot complete what you begin.

Ironically, some of the professors who are teaching you have not yet mastered this.

You’re young, and you will leave behind you a trail of unfinished story-corpses. That’s okay. No shame, there. But there comes a point when you have to stay on that bucking bull till it finally tires and dies in the dust. You can’t just keep not finishing things. Art must reach a conclusion. Stories have endings. You can always go back and edit — but you have nothing meaningful to edit if you don’t finish what you begin in the first damn place.

This is the hardest skill, I think, that I learned as a young writer. Just merely to finish. It’s easier not to. It’s easier to talk about writing than to do the writing. The work you never finish always exists in what appears to be a perfect, gleaming state — a young, preserved corpse on display, its James-Deanian potential perfectly captured in its youth and naivete. But fuck that jibber-jabber. Storm the beach. Suck if you must. But finish what you begin.

And then rewrite until it’s right.

guys, you don’t have it easy ….

I loved this and found it very witty and true 🙂

myguiltypleasures

If you work too hard, there is never any time for us.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If we has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of us, it’s favoritism.
If we gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice we looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp.
If you don’t, you’re insensitive.

men vs women - fakeplus com

If you make a decision without consulting us, you’re a control freak.
If we makes a decision without consulting us, we’re liberated women.

If you ask us to do something we doesn’t enjoy, that’s manipulation.
If we asks you, it’s a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re self-centered.
If you don’t, you’re…

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When Life Knocks You Down…

I loved this article. It’s very deep, heartfelt and true of us all

I follow several hundred blogs, and of those I would put most of them in the ‘Lifestyle’ category. Perhaps it’s because this is the same area that my own blog falls into, perhaps it’s because I enjoy seeing and hearing about the experiences of others, or perhaps it’s because I’m a little nosy, but I have spent the last thirteen months getting to know some of the blogging community a little better. I’ve met their families, travelled the world with them, listened to their favourite music, salivated at their favourite foods, jealously admired their art and/or craft capabilities and been inspired by things that they’ve had to say.

Unfortunately, and all too often, life is cruel and unjust, and recently I have found that my online friends are experiencing things that they don’t deserve – loss, grief, illness, financial troubles, worries – 2014 appears to be testing kind and good…

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Proper walking across the street etiquette

Saw a guy sauntering across the street very slowly when my mom and I were coming home from lunch. If we stop for you to cross, I better see some hustle: KNEES TO CHEST BITCH KNEES TO CHEST

Facebook and the Seven Dwarfs

This struck a cord with me and I found it very witty. Please read and enjoy

Ah dad...

Once upon a time there was…Wait, this is no fairy tale.

It’s happening as I’m writing this. All across the Internet! And if we don’t stop the abuse of Facebook by these seven little men, we might never be able to safe the only means of communication future generations have left. I’ll be damned if I’ll allow that to happen. I’m blowing the whistle for my kids!

For the same thing happened to Snow White. She was a beautiful young girl who got chased into the big wide world and ended up being “saved” by seven dwarfs. But let’s face it, she was conned into becoming a maid, having to cook and clean and slave her way through life, in penance for not having to sit on her ass outside in the dirt. Waiting for Prince Charming to release her from slavery and take her away from those evil little *insert f-bomb*.

In the same way I’m going to save users of Facebook. For Facebook is not actually…

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2014 Eurovision Song Contest: Hungary…

I’m Hungarian and I know my mom will appreciate this

14 Silly Ways To Get Over a Bad Day

Haha these made me laugh. Great job as always

Having a bad day? It happens to everyone, but it’s important to remember that it won’t last forever. However, as I’ve had a run of bad days recently – it’s been a very emotional time – I decided to be silly and provide you with a list of 14 ways to cheer yourself up…

1. Imagine doing this to the person who has upset you. If she can do it, we all can. (senorgif.com)

2. Have a good cry (gifs8.com)

3. Take a leisurely walk to calm your nerves (icanhasgifs.com)

4. Help yourself to something nice to eat. (ohmagif.com)

5. Work out. (Gifsoup.com)

6. Have a nice long bath (senorgif)

7. Smile! Think about all the things you should be grateful for! (muver54.tumblr.com)

8. Look! This chocolate bar actually exists... (Mirror.co.uk)

9. As does this mojito… (facebook)

10. And remember, your day isn’t as bad as this person’s: (gifbin.com)

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Easter and Other Musings

How was your Easter holiday everybody? I had good eats and lots of candy. The downside being a sunburn that itches like the dickens. I will admit my whirlwind life has made something very clear. I’m going to start taking law classes, starting with paralegal studies in the fall. I’m very excited and I feel I may have found my true calling. I’ll still paint and write as well. I guess what I really want to say is I’m back to blogging!

Happy Easter!

Have a plentiful and food-filled Easter everyone. Spend this time with family and friends 🙂

5 Life Lessons as Explained by My Cat

I loved this and thought it was a very interesting read. Check it out

http://www.wattpad.com/story/11574615-novel-writer%27s-toolkit-revised-edition

Be Awesome in Your Own Fur

1. Take Pride in Your Appearance

We are divine, noble, and gorgeous creatures by nature. Therefore, appearance is everything. Every chance you have, be sure to lick yourself to keep your fur in place and looking glossy. Bask in your glory on a windowsill and allow other people to admire your exquisiteness. Nap.

*Disclaimer: Cats have impossible standards of beauty. Do not attempt to live up to such. Focus on your natural beauty. Gone Catawampus does not recommend licking one’s self as a practice of cleanliness. Please use normal human methods. Thank you.

2. Know Your Comfort Zone

I don’t mean that you should hide under the bed all day. (Though it is useful when the evil vacuum is out.) Discover where that smell is coming from. Go see if you can climb that new bookshelf. Figure out what is…

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The Novel writers toolkit

This is possibly one of the most interesting books I’ve ever read

Writing a novel and getting it published: That’s your goal. And nothing
will keep you from making it happen. Such a goal, of course, presents
a number of challenges. Make sure you have the tools you need to
overcome them and succeed.

In THE NOVEL WRITER’S TOOLKIT, NY Times Best-Selling author
Bob Mayer shares a veteran writer’s hard-won advice with a style that’s
straight from the hip. He lays out the nuts and bolts of novel writing, along
with guidelines for starting, finishing and revising your work.

You’ll learn how to:
Develop story-worthy ideas
Translate those ideas into a compelling plot
— one that keeps readers mesmerized
Pace your story for maximum excitement
Create realistic, complicated characters
Submit attention-getting manuscripts

Self-contained chapters make it easy to focus on the just the elements you
need. Take in the advice, sharpen your skills, and hit the ground running.
Mayer provides all the reliable information and instruction you need to
make your dreams of publication come true.

What are you waiting for? THE NOVEL WRITER’S TOOLKIT ensures
that you’re properly equipped for success!

“A book to inspire, instruct and challenge the writer in everyone.”
#1 NY Times Best-Selling Author Susan Wiggs

“An invaluable resource for beginning and seasoned writers alike. Don’t miss out.”
#1 NY Times Best-Selling Author Terry Brooks

Our Covers.

Belinda, the person behind idiot writer is very intelligent and witty. I’m glad to read her work. She’s very inspiring and thought provoking

Budgeting Tips For Your 20s

Very interesting read

If you know me, then you know that I’m like absolutely beyond obsessed with saving money.

I mean, I can’t even go grocery shopping with my man-friend anymore because he’s the “just get what you need, I don’t care how much it costs” type…and I’m more like, “hey, I’m going to be here a while trying to figure out which pack of paper plates gives us the best value.”

LOL just writing that makes me feel ridiculous.

But that’s fine…because I’ve got more $$$ in my wallet. Success!

So today, my friend Ryan is talking about budgeting and I absolutely love it because, well…I’m a nerd like that. Enjoy!

*******************************************************

Retirement seems like something so far off into the future that young people rarely even think about it. However, it’s something that people in their twenties should really prepare for financially–aside from medical emergencies, the possibility of starting a family, and/or buying a home for the…

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Why We Ought to Take Blogs A Little More Seriously

This makes a lot of sense

For some reason that I’ll never understand, a lot of people in the wonderful world of academia tend to hate bloggers.

Maybe not hate-hate, but they certainly don’t take blogs seriously.

Because apparently, if you’re not published in some fancy-pants journal, your work isn’t important.

Makes sense, right?!

Well, no. No it doesn’t.

So in response to all the blogger-haters out there, here are a couple reasons why blogs are awesome and should be given all the credit they deserve.

1. They Allow for Thinking at All Levels

No, you don’t need to have a PhD to have a thought process. Brains, people! Everyone has one! So to believe that only those who somehow publish their thoughts in a journal or a book are entitled to USE their brains, is wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The awesome thing about blogs is that so many people with different perspectives get to…

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Broken love

[Avril Lavigne]
Love that once hung on the wall
Used to mean something, but now it means nothing
The echoes are gone in the hall
But I still remember, the pain of December

Oh, there isn’t one thing left you could say
I’m sorry it’s too late

[Chorus]
I’m breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I’ve said goodbye
Set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go

[Chad Kroeger]
You came back to find I was gone
And that place is empty,
Like the hole that was left in me
Like we were nothing at all
It’s not what you meant to me
Thought we were meant to be

Oh, there isn’t one thing left you could say
I’m sorry it’s too late

[Chorus]
I’m breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I’ve said goodbye
Set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go

I let it go and now I know
A brand new life is down this road
And when it’s right, you always know
So this time I won’t let go

There’s only one thing left here to say
Love’s never too late

[Chorus]
I’ve broken free from those memories
I’ve let it go, I’ve let it go
And two goodbyes led to this new life
Don’t let me go, don’t let me go

Don’t let me go, don’t let me go, don’t let me go, don’t let me go

[4x]
Won’t let you go, don’t let me go

You didn’t want me to go but I had to. For myself. It’s the best decision I’ve made in a long time. I’m living for myself and valuing what I believe and what I feel

Asking for a Re-Blog

I’ll be happy to reblog 🙂

Waiting…just that painful waiting process

I’m sorry to all of you as I’ve had big things come up in my life that have pretty much stopped me from blogging. Though I press on and I hope to be back to my original postings soon. I won’t stop blogging entirely, I will just do reblogs of inspiring things. Please bear with me. Thank you for your time and cooperation

WordPress Meet and Greet – All Bloggers Welcome

This sounds like a fabulous idea. Reblog this everyone and don’t forget to visit me over at http://www.merismusings.wordpress.com where I share my outlook on the world around me

What is a Turn Signal? All of you STOP DRIVING NOW!

Yes!!!

Potato Bake – WITH BACON!

Yummy 🙂

Now 200

I got a notification for being with wordpress for one year. I also have 109 followers and 50 likes! Thank you so much everybody 🙂 you have no idea how much that means to me

A Few Things about Introverts

Very interesting

Always Breathe Again~

Almost put me in a trance. Very soothing words. No pun intended

Blogging 101 – Easy Blogging Tips

Beware of Spokeo.com

Please look into this everyone

Senioritis

I’m just unmotivated, lost. I feel unaccomplished and I’m uninterested in my studies. Year wise I’m a senior. Credit wise I’m still a sophomore

Wow thank you!

My blog has just reached 90 followers! Thank you so much 🙂 I hope to provide more posts that you’ll comment on and enjoy reading

A lot has happened and I’m sorry

A lot has happened to me over these last weeks and I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging or happy like I usually am. I’m very stressed and don’t sleep much or well at all. I hope to be back to normal soon. Until then, my humblest apologies dear readers and thank you for continuing to follow me despite the lack of posts 🙂

Can Men and Woman Be Just Friends?

I did once…

It’s a question that is the subject of debate amongst scientists, psychologists and sociologists the world over. When researching this post I discovered thousands of different articles on the Internet, all with conflicting arguments and conclusions. I don’t possess any of these scientific qualifications and therefore can only rely on my own thoughts and experiences, and therefore I apologise if this is one of many similar posts.

There is one thing that all of these articles have in common – the film ‘When Harry Met Sally’. In the opening sequence Billy Crystal declares that “no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive”. But is this statement actually true?

When examining cross-sex relationships in TV programmes we are given the impression that platonic friendships aren’t always possible. There are hundreds of examples of friendships that develop into romance – Luke and Lorelai in the ‘Gilmore Girls’, J.D…

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Who am I?

Very good advice

How To Know When You’re A Teacher

I have a few friends who are teachers. I know they will appreciate this 🙂 love you guys oh so much

Teaching, in my experience, is an undervalued profession. I saw a great list on Facebook this morning, and it prompted me to compile my own. These are my Top 25 ways to know when you’re a teacher:

1. Regardless of where you are – shopping, the cinema, in a restaurant, even on a beach on holiday – you’ll almost always hear ‘Hi Miss/Sir’ and instantly know that a student is standing behind you. The event of this happening is even more likely when you’re wearing your scruffy clothes and haven’t washed your hair.

2. You are called ‘Mum/Dad’ accidentally at least ten times a day.

3. You’ve learnt not to complain about your job to your non-teacher friends as this will always elicit a ‘but you get three months off a year, you have it so easy’ response from them and you don’t wish to be charged…

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Beyond the Blog: Developing Your Online Presence as a Writer

🙂

The Daily Post

We recently highlighted ways that some of you integrate Tumblr into your online routine and use this platform to complement your work on WordPress.com, which is your online hub. Since the internet is a very big playground, let’s talk about other ways to develop your web presence and personal brand strategically, as well as use WordPress.com to promote your writing in a way that makes sense for you.

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Me

Yes I am

The Writer

I love this 🙂 it’s so very well spoken. True of all writers

Get Off My Internet?!?

Send this to all your friends

My Hands Clenched Tight To Weep

Oh My God!

1,017 views and 62 comments!!! Thank you so much! You all have no idea how much it means to me. This really perked up my day 🙂 I’ve been really busy with some big revelations and changes going on in my life so my blogging has been basically non-existent aside from sharing others posts. I promise I’ll be more prompt and start blogging more very soon. Thank you all again and don’t forget to recommend my blog to your friends 🙂

Age Does Not Apply

I need to reblog this as I’ve helped many climb out of depression

Me - Who am I?

The other day I received a notice in the mail from my son’s school, regarding suicide prevention. I’ve heard so many people make the comment, “They’re just kids. What kind of problems could they possibly have?” It’s great that these people had such a wonderful and simple childhood, that it enables them to make such a statement.

However, this comment is made out of ignorance. To think that children can’t possibly go through anything serious enough that they would contemplate suicide, is absurd. Children go through a lot.

They may not have to pay bills, go to work or raise a family, but they do struggle with school, all types of abuse, bullying and peer pressure. Not only that, they have to go through puberty. That alone can cause a great deal of turmoil in a child’s life.

As adults, we face problems that seem impossible to overcome. They…

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Manurisms Women Should Know! Pt. 1

Haha

FORGIVENESS

You can’t forgive unspeakable acts, you really can’t. I tried and I just couldn’t

IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW

Haha

sothislife

1. MY DADDY BUTT DIALED ME YESTERDAY, WHEN I CALLED AND TOLD HIM, HE LAUGHED SO HARD I DIDN’T THINK HE’D STOP. HE HAS A WONDERFUL LAUGH.

2. IF YOU ARE AN ADULT AND CALL YOUR FATHER DADDY, ONLY A SOUTHERN WILL UNDERSTAND WHY.

3. IF YOU ARE AN ADULT AND CALL YOUR MOTHER MAMA OR MOTHER, ONLY A SOUTHERN WILL UNDERSTAND WHY.

4. IN THE SOUTHERN LANGUAGE SOME TWO SYLLABLE WORDS SOUND LIKE THEY HAVE ONLY ONE.

5. IN THE SOUTHERN LANGUAGE SOME TWO SYLLABLE WORDS SOUND LIKE THEY HAVE THREE.

6. THE IRISH LANGUAGE DOES NOT CONTAIN A H.

7. IF YOU GO OUT TO EAT OR DO TAKE AWAY IN IRELAND, YOU USUALLY GET CHIPS, EVEN WITH PIZZA AND CHINESE.

8. ENGLISH PEAS CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN ENGLAND, YOU CAN’T GET THEM IN THE STATES (I DON’T CARE WHAT THE PACKAGE OR MENU SAYS). 9…

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Just because…

Shared from http://www.spotublog.com/

Very insightful and true

Another Shout Out If I May?

To idiot writer! Your blog is incredibly inspiring and very thought-provoking. *tips virtual hat* thank you for inspiring me to write

Ire (anger)

The Usual and Then Some!

I’m back from vacation. It was nice…awkward and kind of empty feeling. More of an obligation than a want sometimes. It made me remember many things I’d rather forget. Memory is a funny thing. I want to forget and yet…try to remember. *shivers* When I sleep, I’ll have nightmares about the past. When I try to remember them, they turn fuzzy making me question my own sanity and wonder if I’m crazy. I’m left with more questions than answers. Why did I have to remember this now? Why did it happen? Why me? What did I ever do to you? Did you just decide I was weak so then you did what you did knowing I wouldn’t question it right away?…

Some Lives (Reality)

I can relate in a way…so powerful

sothislife

the voice

running

door slammed

then locked

dresser push up against

pounding

fetal position on bed

so much fear

so much shame

not understanding

the why

Multiple Tabs

Same here. I definitely relate to this

Why You Need to Learn To Get Over It

I can’t….not easily

I think I have a memory problem.

I mean, I hope I don’t…but I’m a little concerned.

I have a really hard time remembering things that happened yesterday, and sometimes, when other people bring up things from the past, I can’t remember what the heck they’re talking about.

No, I don’t remember going to that party.

No, I don’t remember getting in trouble that night.

Ashley? Who the heck is Ashley?

So as I’m thinking about all of this while praying that I don’t have some kind of early-onset Alzheimer’s, I realize that although this really bad memory of mine is somewhat problematic, it’s also very much a blessing too.

Yea, it kind of stinks when I can’t find my keys.

It’s even worse when I can’t find my work badge.

But if there’s one really positive thing about my memory issue, it’s that I’m really not capable of holding a grudge.

Because I can’t remember…

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Why I Am An Idiot

Yes…no…SASS

“Yes.”

“Yes ma’am”

“There is no need to call me ma’am”

So I tweaked it a little but still…Queen of sass!!!

Parnoia and Gossip

Nothing I hate more than people talking behind my back. Today, my coworkers talked to my boss about how I don’t do my job. Newsflash! I do my job and I do it well. I just don’t have eight hours of work always, so yes I’ll be lazy. I do operate under the philosophy of: Once my work is done, I can do other things to fill up my time. Is that so wrong? Everybody does it!! I’ll gladly leave if you don’t like what I do

My Day as Mickey Mouse

Haha a very funny read

An Interesting Read

This article struck me as something all new and current bloggers should use for tipshttp://www.deliberatingdave.com/reaching-out/

Why the World Now Fears Bloggers

Well said. Wholeheartedly agree

Making Writing Prompts Personal

I should follow this. I feel so blocked lately

The Daily Post

Every blogger faces it, sooner or later: you feel an itch to publish. You haven’t updated your site in a while. You put on your lucky writing socks, fire up WordPress, flex your fingers, and…

… sit there, staring blankly at the screen. You’re blocked!

(What? Like I’m the only one who has lucky writing socks.)

Looking to give your site a boost and reach new audiences? From a custom domain to advanced SEO tools and more design options, there’s a WordPress.com plan that’s right for you.

When you’re blocked, writing prompts are blogsavers. Many bloggers shy away from them because they don’t like the idea of responding to a prompt — what if it doesn’t inspire you? What if the topic doesn’t fit your blog? But before turning off the computer and putting your writing socks back in the drawer, try these six tips for making any writing…

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the lazy life.

This describes me and many of my friends

Sleep

I think this is very true

Too honest?

To tell someone you like their sweater when you really hate it. Is that a lie? Is it too honest? It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie

What is a Professional Blogger?

This is very true. However, I don’t rely on the comments of others to make me who I am. I don’t make money off my blog but I feel professional in my own way. I blog because I want to, not because I have to despite my three posts a day goal I set for myself

Oh Well…

So I broke up with Marcus. You know, I think I’m ok. I talked to his mom only to see if his phone number was still the same and she basically said he doesn’t have time for anyone and why don’t I go do something with my life? You know, whatever. You don’t know me so you can’t tell me what to do. You know my name, not my story. So much for me trying to care for someone who meant something to me. It was ok while it lasted. Sure, he disappointed me more times than I can count but when everything was fine, knowing we had each other felt really good. I dumped his messages, deleted his number, deleted him from Facebook and I feel ok. He can do what he wants. I’ve cut my ties as much as it hurts to admit, I knew it was coming.

In Which I Wax About Music

I love this

momaste

This year, as usual for the past few years, there was $30 of iTunes gift cards in my stocking. These little cards are one of my favorite presents. I could listen to music every minute of every day and still crave more. It is like a magic elixir to me, a panacea for any psycho-spiritual crisis.

Lately I’ve been playing a lot of the Ani DiFranco channel on Pandora. There are days I am actually excited to get in my car and start off for work for the music I can pump out of my crappy Corolla speakers on my commute. Some days it inspires. Others it comforts. Still others, it takes me back to distant memories and moments, recapturing the sensation of the past. The Ani DiFranco channel plays a constant stream of Tori Amos, Alanis Morrisette, Tegan and Sara, Tracey Chapman, Alana Davis, Natalie Merchant, and other folksy-punk-rock…

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I Want To Write!

I feel like my blog has taken a strange turn. I mostly write about love and I’ll reblog things when I don’t have the creative juices to come up with my own work. I want to be able to write about my personal experiences more. In some cases I have and you can tell that my words don’t lie. One year, I want to join NaNoBloPoMo. I feel like in some ways this past year, I did and almost succeeded…but not in the way that I feel proud about. I mostly reblogged other peoples work because my schedule was too busy and I didn’t have enough creativity at the end of the day to come up with something good. I remember how happy I was when I first started writing because I knew I had something to share with the world. Yes, it was fun watching my stats over the first few months rise, but as I got more busy, they dropped significantly. Although, it’s about having fun and getting better at writing, I found it depressing to see my stats falling. I just wish I could write something like I did in the first months…that’s all. Thanks for reading everybody, and as always suggestions and comments are greatly encouraged and appreciated 🙂

One More

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is still a mystery. That’s why today is called the present

Nightly Thoughts

We all grow up. We all change. Whether for better or worse that is determined by our actions and by fate. Things fall apart, giving way to disarray and confusion. To fall back together, with peace and clarity. We fall asleep in mists of blue. Left to our dreams. Where life and death meet. In a mix of black and white. Yin and yang. We change to meet life and life changes to meet us. Our souls are always singing that song. Stuck on repeat. Just going day by day as we wait for something to change us and erase our slates. So we may start again. At the next stage in life. With old experiences, guiding our challenges and desires. Each day, each big event, whether pleasant or tragedy is a chance to renew, redeem. Why are my walls down so much? It leaves me vulnerable. But if I keep them up I come off as cold, distant, detached. I just wish I could know who to trust…I have all these big ideas but I feel like I’m getting nowhere. Running a race like a mouse in a cage, getting nowhere…

Liquid Glass

I love this

Happy Holidays And A Great New Year!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year. I will resume blogging after January 1.

I don’t write for you

This really interested me and it’s very true

Santa came around ~ but Colouring is awesome

Well put 🙂

5 Habits of Children in Broken Homes

I found this article very interesting, and although there are a lot of swears, it’s taken straight from www.cracked.com

How do you react when you hear the phrase “dysfunctional family”? Do you smirk and say, “Oh, man, I could tell you some stories”? Maybe you roll your eyes and think, “Christ, here we go with that ‘My daddy didn’t love me enough’ bullshit.” I used to do the latter; people use a bad childhood as a “Get Out of Responsibility Free” card, and even if they were actually from dysfunctional families, who gives a shit? Get over it and move on with your goddamn life, pussy.
But research says there are some very weird, specific and often annoying personality traits a person develops coming from a bad home, and once you know how to look for it, you see them everywhere. See if you recognize any of these people. Maybe you remember them from high school. Or, hell, maybe it’s you …

#5. Lying Becomes Their New Reality

You Know Them As:
This is the guy at school or work who always has to top everything you say. You tell him that you just learned how to do an ollie on your skateboard, and he responds with “Yeah, I learned that when I was 4. I can kickflip over a bus now.” Or he tells you the story of how he was almost robbed at the ATM, so he had to use his martial arts skills to disable and apprehend the three attackers. You just automatically know that his story is closer to him walking by a bank and seeing someone who sort of scared him. Then he picked up the pace and went home without issue.

God, just look at the bloodlust in their eyes.

How It Happens:
I haven’t told this to many people, so it makes total sense to admit it in front of hundreds of thousands of strangers … but I used to be a compulsive liar. Don’t worry, I confronted and dealt with that issue several years ago, but from early childhood well into adulthood, I lied about absolutely everything. Stupid shit that didn’t even require lying to protect myself or someone else — lying without a purpose. Things like my shoe size or level of education. Claiming I could play certain instruments, in conversations where nobody even gave a fraction of a shit in the first place.
It wasn’t until I started doing heavy research into dysfunctional families that I realized that this was a pretty common trait among people who have lived through abuse or neglect. It starts off the way you’d imagine: You learn by example from your parents or siblings. “No, I’m not drunk! We were just out of water, so I bathed in vodka. Get off my ass!” Then you start using it as a tool. “Yeah, I got all of my homework done. Can I go out and play now?”

Eventually, it gets so ingrained that lying becomes more comfortable than telling the truth. Then, even further down the line, telling the truth starts to feel uncomfortable — the same way lying feels uncomfortable to normal, healthy-minded people. In the minds of many people who have grown up in a dysfunctional family, lying and honesty literally switch places on their moral compass. Before they know it, they’re saying shit that isn’t true and not even stopping to ask themselves why. “So far this year, I’ve had sex with 218 women. At the same time.”
They don’t do it to be evil. There’s no malicious intent behind it. But it’s so hard to not think of them as manipulating assholes who are only out to fuck with your head. In truth, it’s a defense mechanism, learned and utilized in order to avoid horrifying consequences for mundane things. “If I tell Mom that I broke my glasses, she’s going to flip out and beat the piss out of me. Just tell her a bully did it. The kids call him ‘Mean Breakglasses’ because he does it so often.” Or they’re looking for the praise and respect that they never got growing up. “When I tell people I’m a 12th-degree black belt in taekwondo, they act impressed, and that feels awesome. Obviously, they’re afraid that if they don’t show respect, I’ll spin kick their head completely off of their fucking neck.”

#4. They Lose the Ability to Finish Projects

You Know Them As:

The friend who constantly shows you this awesome drawing they’ve been working on. “And over here, I’m gonna have a black dragon wrapping around her naked boobies and breathing a stream of flaming skulls while the boob woman casts some wizard shit. He fucking breathes skulls, man. It’s gonna be so badass.” Then you never see it again. When you ask him how it’s coming along, he tells you he got busy or decided he didn’t like it, so he scrapped the whole thing. And that’s that. A week later, he’s showing you the beginning of another project that is doomed to incompletion.

How It Happens:

Obviously, there are plenty of people out there who are lazy or just have short attention spans but have never had their pets thrown at their head by their mother or been called “future corpse fucker” by their father. But their reasons for stopping a project in midstride tend to be because either they got distracted or they realized how much work was involved and just said, “Screw this.”
Personally, if I had finished all the short stories and novels I’ve started over the last 20 years, I’d have enough money to retire, based on bulk alone. It turns out that’s pretty common among kids who come from dysfunctional families because they lacked the instruction and motivation that’s readily available in a normal, healthy family environment.

“Christ, look at that dumbass. Those angles have to be off by at least half a degree. What a piece of shit.”
Some of you are about to realize that your home situation wasn’t as normal as you thought when I tell you the following: In a normal family, when a child has a hobby or homework, the adult generally helps out, serving as a makeshift teacher. They’re right there to point out why you need to add glue here before you hammer a nail into it, or why you carry the one in this math problem instead of writing “Go fuck yourself” in the blank. Even if they’re not directly instructing, the child can watch the adult do their own project, while asking questions along the way. Either way, there’s an education present that isn’t there in the dysfunctional atmosphere.
So the child learns that starting something is pretty easy. But when the hard stuff shows up in the middle, they give up, because they don’t know what to do next. They feel like they’ve failed before they even reach the halfway point. But just as damaging is the absence of a cheering section. For instance, in a healthy household: I’m in the middle of a clay sculpture of a fully erect penis. Detailed right down to the most subtle capillary and circumcision scar. I show it to my dad, who glances over and says, “Oh, wow, that looks great. Exactly like your grandfather’s! Keep going, I can’t wait to try that out on your mother!” I’ve been shown praise for my creativity, and I’ve been motivated to finish the project.

In a dysfunctional family, the best you can hope for is a quick glance away from the TV, followed by, “Can you not see I’m in the middle of this show? Fuck off and stop bothering me.” This is the beginning of what will eventually morph into …

#3. They Become Ultra Responsible (or Catastrophically Irresponsible)

You Know Them As:

This is the friend who gets super pissed off when you’re four minutes late for something trivial like going out for coffee. They may or may not go as far as becoming OCD, but in general, household objects have their place, and they need to be put back in exactly that spot when you’re done using them. Bills can never be late under any circumstance. Everyone in the world must be taken care of first, before they, themselves, are even considered.
On the opposite end, you have the sack of shit who just crashes on friends’ couches until they kick him out. Then he finds a new couch, repeating the process while thinking that the world is out to get him. Life has made him a shit sandwich, served on a plate that’s also made out of shit.
.
How It Happens:

There is rarely any middle ground with people who have been through a lifetime of dysfunctional bullshit. In many cases, children end up taking on a parental role due to neglect from one or both of their actual parents. They learn from an early age to feed themselves, get to and from school on their own, do their homework without help or guidance … and often the only help they get in any area is from older siblings who have taught themselves these skills. So you get a 9-year-old kid taking on the responsibilities of a 40-year-old adult, and it seems absolutely normal to them. “Where’s my briefcase? I have a parent-teacher conference to attend so I can speak to my teachers about myself.”
When they move out, the upside is that they are fully trained to take on “real life.” The downside is that they often become obsessive about their responsibilities, and end up teaching this to their children, using the same method that their neglectful parents did. Because they don’t view that as neglect — often, they just see it as a teaching method.

Unless something happens to provoke the revelation of “Holy crap, that was all bullshit,” it still feels completely normal to them. That’s hard enough to realize when you’re on the responsible end of the spectrum. On the other side are the people who tried everything to please their parents, but realized that the fight was futile. So they simply gave up out of emotional exhaustion.
Unfortunately, that “Fuck it, I’m done” attitude isn’t a one-time thing. Just like the rest of the traits in this article, it becomes a point of habit. Then it further becomes an ingrained behavior. Then a virtually inseparable part of the personality. You see these people refusing to get jobs or continually quitting the ones they have. They neglect chores, relationships, bills. I’ve been through both of these traits, and I’m telling you from experience that finding a middle ground is like parachuting into a foreign country without knowing the customs or language and trying to survive from scratch.

#2. They Judge Themselves Without Mercy

You Know Them As:

Chris Farley used to have a skit on Saturday Night Live where he played a nervous interviewer who didn’t do much research. And when something didn’t go quite the way he wanted, he’d flip out, punching himself in the head and calling himself an idiot. One of the reasons that was so funny (besides the fact that Chris Farley was ball-punchingly awesome) was because most of us know people like that in real life. They constantly beat themselves up over minor mistakes and missteps that most of us would consider

How It Happens:

You’d think that adult children of dysfunctional families would paint themselves as victims. Constantly expecting or wanting sympathy and reassurance that they’re special and loved. “Please feel sorry for me! My daddy didn’t love me enough!”
It turns out that more often than not, the opposite is true. They tend to judge themselves exponentially harder than other people. In many cases, this is because when they were growing up, the consequences for failure were pretty dire. You just didn’t bring home low grades, or make mistakes, or have bad moods, or express feelings. If you did, it was met with explosive reactions that made it pretty clear that those things are off-limits. It’s what weak people do. It’s taught that failure is the worst thing a human can do — it’s unforgivable.

And though sympathy and empathy generally make us refrain from giving other people shit when they fail (except in extreme sociopathic cases, such as the entirety of YouTube commenters), we do the polar opposite with ourselves, going overboard and beating ourselves up over the situation. We can’t let it die. I still do this — I’m not sure if I’ll ever get past it. It just feels natural that if you fall below your own or someone else’s expectations and standards, you deserve to have your ass kicked. And since no one else is going to do it, it might as well be me. And strangely, because of all this …

#1. They Become Hypersensitive

You Know Them As:

You come home from work, exhausted, and you just want to sit down, relax and enjoy the silence for a bit. You’re not in the mood to talk. Your appetite is shot. You just want to be left alone so you can collect your thoughts and normalize. But every two minutes, your worried partner asks, “Did I make you mad? Did I do something wrong?” Meanwhile, you try to figure out a good spot to put the saint trophy that you’re sure you’ll be receiving for not grabbing their skull, pushing it into the floor and juicing them like a fucking orange.

“Ask me what’s wrong again. I dare you to ask me how you can fix it.”

How It Happens:

Believe it or not, they knew about your mood long before you returned from the fridge, flopped on the couch and let out that long, beer-tainted sigh. It’s another defense mechanism (notice a pattern here?) that they picked up years before they even knew of your existence. When Mom or Dad’s moods started to fluctuate, bad shit happened. Over time, the kids learned that those moods always had telltale signs that predicted their eruptions. Ash that preceded the lava.
At first you take notice, even if it’s subconsciously, that before Dad explodes, he starts rubbing his temples. Big, obvious things like that. But over time, you can’t help but pick up on more subtle signs. He lets out a very soft sigh when it’s going to be just a quick stick-and-move belittling session. He fidgets with his lighter when it’s going to be a really bad one. The skill is developed so that when you see it happening, you can either brace yourself for the train wreck, or you can make yourself scarce so you don’t have to deal with it.

Just like any skill, the more you use it, the better you get. Over the years, it becomes so woven into the fabric of your personality, you couldn’t remove it without completely breaking down who you are as a person and rebuilding the cloth from scratch. So it’s rarely ever a case of the person just trying to smother their partner with attention out of some sense of insecurity. It’s force of habit. Alarms are going off in their subconscious that shit is about to hit the fan, and they need to defuse that bomb before it goes off. And anything can trip the alarm. The slightest change in tone of voice. The most subtle shift in eyebrows before you speak. The way you’re standing. A simple change in your daily routine. The subtle way you look them in the eyes and say, “I’m about to physically punch you directly in the face with my fist. Here I go.”
It sounds like a damn superpower, but it can be a real problem in relationships, because the constant questioning and attempts to fix the other person’s bad mood can be suffocating. Every person needs to be allowed room to vent their stress and frustrations, but that thought scares the ever-loving shit out of the person who lived through a dysfunctional family. Because he’s used to those very things being followed by aggression and hate.

All of these things are fixable, but it requires you to take a long look at yourself and decide if there is even a problem in the first place. It’s harder than you think. If you need help, here’s a good place to start. Either way, it’s a whole lot more common than you think, so don’t let the assholes of the world make you feel weak for seeking help. You have as much of a right to be normal and happy as everyone else on this goddamn planet.

Millennials: Don’t Be Afraid to Operate Solo

I think we’ve finally accepted it: being in your twenties can be slightly lonely. Lone-ranger status… a lot. I used to be one of those people who needed to be around 50 other people in order to feel happy. But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to absolutely LOVE the time I spend alone. Because we need it- for our sanity. And I also feel super-cool when I can get things done on my own. Today’s guest post from Jessica is perfect, reminding us that there’s nothing wrong with operating solo. Enjoy!

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What they don’t tell you about your twenties – the decade of late nights, traveling, reconnecting with high school friends and indulging in happy hours – is that it can get lonely.

Maybe you’re moved into your first apartment without roommates, or you’ve felt a creeping sense of self-consciousness at weddings and baby showers. Perhaps you’re newly single and…

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Dreaming a Dream

Yes, I dream this too

Is it Time Yet?

I’ve texted you, called you. Tried every possible thing I can think of to get a hold of you. I don’t know…I..I’m afraid. Everyone says I should just let go…like ripping off a band-aid. I can’t. I don’t know how. Do you know how much pain that would cause us both? Think about it. I can cut people out of my life easily with no explanation if they’ve done something terrible to me…but you haven’t. YOU HAVEN’T!!! Many people would turn that to “you haven’t done anything to upset me too horribly as of this year” but I say you haven’t done anything to make me deliriously happy. Everything is false hope…but I can’t let go. I just can’t. I don’t care what anybody says. I can’t close our chapter in my life. Maybe someday I’ll be able to but right now? I feel kind of lonely without your texts but I have too much of my own stuff to deal with that my philosophy is you’ll talk when you’re ready. I can wait for a text but I’m not freaking out and not sleeping because you aren’t texting me.

Not Just Sundays

Woah… 🙂

Mixed-Up Thoughts In A Mixed Up Mind

This is weird. Usually about this time I feel ready and actually excited for Christmas. This year? Not in the least. My boyfriend is supposed to come and that excites me very much and makes me happy but other than that, I don’t really feel ready to celebrate. I feel like crying. Same as I do every year, though I try despite failing miserably to not cry. I just don’t feel in the Christmas spirit. My dad has a stocking my grandmother made for me. I don’t feel like it should bother me but it does. It’s not his specifically, it’s mine and I don’t live there anymore. His house is a part of my past and I need to let go as much as I can to save my own sanity. He does have a cat who has been in my life since I was little and I have a responsibility to feed him when my dad goes away on trips. I just feel stuck. I still work for him and although I love my job, deep down I don’t want to inherit the company. He has amazing health benefits and I love my coworkers but…I don’t want to keep doing this the rest of my life. I really don’t. I want to be in art. I want to be in art but I want to do it on my own time without being smothered by restrictions and told that my assignments are “wrong.” They might be wrong in the terms of the assignment but maybe I put my own spin on what I understood the assignment to be. I just want to end this strife over school, I really do. Let me take a semester off and use that time to plan for my future. I’m not trying to be a jerk but I feel I have a point too. If you’d listen to what I have to say instead of yelling at me and telling me how stupid my plans are right now maybe you should listen. Who knows? You might find I’m right once in a while.

A Cup Of Inspiration?

Agreed nothing like tea or cocoa

Do Not Hide

I agree wholeheartedly

Is There a Right Way To Do This?

Divorce. Is there any right way to handle it? The aftershock I mean? Divorce is the reason I dislike the holidays. Hatred would be too strong. I don’t have a hatred of the holidays. I love my family, I just wish there was a way I could get over that they won’t ever get back together. I suppose I should feel happy in a way since I think they’re happier apart. I get two holidays out of it (no I don’t mean that materialisticly) but still I cry when putting up decorations and sometimes I cry alone at night when I can’t sleep. I can’t help it though each year I tell myself I won’t cry, I just wish I could be normal and not cry wishing my parents were back together and that everything is the way it was before everything went down. A part of me will never grow up I suppose. Above all, I love my family and my boyfriend dearly because if I didn’t have them, the holidays would be much harder. I get by I think. I’m just tired of burying my feelings, but I also hate showing how I feel because I hate looking and feeling vulnerable and small.

Anxiety

Saying I hate loud noises would make this too easy a prompt. Although it’s true that I have to cover my ears for the fire alarm or anything higher than that decibel, there are many silent pains I feel that bring me anxiety. Trying to please everyone is one of them with school being a close second. I can’t do both and I don’t get any joy out of sitting in a classroom to learn, even if it’s something I want to learn. It’s weird but just being in school gives me great anxiety, no matter how much I try to hide it. I wish I could overcome it. I know I don’t really work hard but I hate being tied down to deadlines that I can’t control. I finish the work early and do a crappy job because I don’t want to work on it more and miss the deadline. Anyone who knows me will say that’s a lame excuse but it’s not about what they know. It’s what I feel.

It’s not just the work. It’s the enemy I have. Or rather, someone I used to know. I saw him last week and felt unspeakable anger that, if I knew I couldn’t get in trouble I would have decked him over the head. But I bit my tongue and tried to control the bubbling anger I felt. Of course when I walked out of the kitchen in the span of the two minutes I was there, he was gone. I’m not paranoid though I am jumpy. Point being, he saw me and didn’t want to risk talking knowing we’d both regret it. Smart move but still. Anxiety ensued. In the end we can’t control who we see but we can have choices to avoid these anxieties from coming up.

Ruse

Relationship Myths

This meant a lot to me and is a very good read

Touches

Touch me
in secret places no one has reached before,
in silent places where words only interfere,
in sad places where only whispering makes sense …

Touch me
in the morning when light still clings to us,
at midday when confusion crowds upon me,
at twilight as I begin again to know who I am,
in the evening when I see you and hear you.

Touch me
like a child who will never have enough love,
for I am someone who wants to be lost in your arms,
someone who has known enough pain to love ,
someone who is sometimes strong enough to give.

Touch me
in crowds when a single look says everything,
in solitude when it’s too dark to see,
in absence when I reach for you through time and miles.

Touch me
when I ask
Touch me
when I am afraid to ask.
Touch me
with your lips, your hands, your heart, your presence in the room.

Touch me
gently~ for I am fragile
firmly~ for i am strong
often~ for I am alone.

And I will touch you the same way.

~Richard Drake Jones

In reply…

To Be Brave Or To Be Stupid?

Overcome the Fear

I agree and feel this way constantly

Dark Eyes

Your eyes are open but what do you see? “How many fingers am I holding up?” “I’m sorry America. I can no longer see” (America to England in HetaOni) when you die, your eyes are open but unseeing. Are they really? What do you see as your last moments? Do you see your life, flashes of it? Or do you see your regrets? I just wonder…

Real?

Oh my word…this is very intimate and inspiring

Obsession

I have been known to obsess and be uptight about many things

Stop.
Racing thoughts
Sweaty palms.
Running laps in my head
Filled with tension.
Drenched with sweat .
Just breathe.
Relax.
Oh my gosh.
I’ve gained so much weight.
Battles in my head.
Negativity rises again.
You’re fat now.
This is how it’s going to happen with her.
You’re going to get into an accident .
Just stop.
Racing to calm down.
Rushing to breathe.
Focus on the moment.
Thoughts stop taking control of me.
Focus on the breath.
Breathe.
Honey.
You’ll be ok.
Think of solutions.
Not the problem.
Obsession at it’s finest.
Struggling to keep present .
Mind wondering.
Heart pulsing out of control.
One beat leads to two thoughts.
Freeze.
Focus, what’s in the air.
Relax, listen to the sound of the waves.
Obsession get out of here.

http://alabama2015.wix.com/alabama

Don’t

Well written words to live by 🙂

Promo for Independent Film: Alabama

My friend Lauren is helping with the independent film Alabama. She helped write it 🙂 Feel free to visit the link

Eighteen year old ALABAMA is an southern belle living in beautiful Savannah GA, on a postcard worthy farm. When her younger sister GEORGIA’S childhood leukemia comes back, it rapidly takes her life. After her sisters death ALABAMA, depressed, takes refuge in her sister’s bedroom. While grieving in her sister’s bedroom ALABAMA finds a couple of letters that GEORGIA wrote describing the things she would like to accomplish when she gets out of the hospital. With the help of REID, ALABAMA finds her courage and sets out to full fill her sister’s last wishes.

Differences

I can’t fight it any longer. I’ve tried so hard to deny I’m different. To deny I have difficulties with learning, amongst other things. There are services available to me to help me get rides to work, to help me with school, to find my interests so I can feel more accomplished and better about myself. It hurts my pride to know I should have these services available to me. I fear that if I know they’re there I will abuse them. Crazy since they do help me become more independent. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. I’ve been known to milk things and I’ve always hated that part of myself. To be honest about myself is hard. I don’t like admitting I had two brain injuries. I shouldn’t be alive but the wonders of science saved me and for that I’m very thankful. I try to lead as normal a life as I possibly can and when I have to explain or admit to myself that I have learning curves that need to be addressed. it saddens me because I don’t feel normal. Maybe I’m vain but still…something to think about.

a favourite recipe: double dark chocolate thumbprint cookies

I want to make these

I Didn’t

I didn’t participate in NaBloPoMo and I wish I did just so I could feel good about my blog again and give myself a challenge. Unfortunately, my hectic work and school schedule prevented me from blogging everyday. Hopefully, next year I may relish in the joy of seeing my stats rise 🙂 congrats to everyone who did complete it

5 Writing Tips I Learned During NaBloPoMo

I should follow this. Even with the holidays and my hectic schedule, I feel so uninspired. Empty of all my creativity unless under pressure, a state I hate to be in

Sips of Jen and Tonic

NaBloPoMo is hard, ya’ll. Writing is in my blood, and yet, at this stage in the game I’m ready to throw in the towel on writing forever. I’ve fatigued my brain, and I’m sure some of you may have noticed the quality of my posts going down.

I’ve always thought NaBloPoMo would be much easier than NaNoWriNo simply because of the variety and lesser word count that it allows. What I failed to realize (for the second year in a row) is that NaBloPoMo requires 30 consecutive finished pieces rather than one piece which can be edited at a later time. In this way, it can be much more challenging.

Aside from the writing itself, it has been difficult to stay inspired. If you normally write twice a week, it would take you 15 weeks (or almost 4 months) to write 30 posts. A lot of stuff can happen in…

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A Big Apology Dear Readers And Followers

My blog has been on a bit of a hiatus due to school sucking up all my time. The 13th of December is my last day. I’m going to be taking a little extra time to spend with my boyfriend for Christmas so I won’t be posting much but you can expect come the new year I’ll be back to a normal schedule. Happy holidays, merry Christmas and happy new year!

A New Start, A New Day

I first found this article through a blog I follow and wanted to share it with you. You aren’t alone and maybe starting over is a good thing once in a while.

10 Ways and Reasons You Can Start Over
By Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. on January 17, 2010 – 7:27pm
Starting Over

Instead of making a resolution, which most of us aren’t all that great at keeping, why not look for some areas in your life where you’d like to begin anew? Here are some tools to make starting over a little easier and your new year a little more emotionally fit.

1. Starting over is not the same as recouping from a failure. It is a new beginning. This mindset is helpful because it keeps you from wasting your time being too hard on yourself.

2. Moving through life is like climbing stairs. You go up a level and then you level off. Nothing is ever a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and with your newfound direction.

3. This new year is also a new decade. It could also be a new life if you approach it in the right way. Sometimes little ideas can turn into big things. Try writing that letter to the editor or, if you need to, make the choice to drink a little less alcohol.

4. Endings are not necessarily bad things. Even if the past year was your best so far, the one ahead might just leave it in the dust. This is also true if it’s been your worst year so far, and you’ve suddenly found yourself unemployed or unattached.

5. Starting over may feel scary, but it’s really a cause for celebration. Think of it as exciting, and many of your anxious feelings will begin to fade.

6. Remember that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well.

7. Having to start over is different from choosing to start over. For those whose lives are still in chaos because of manmade and natural disasters, starting over is not a choice. Giving support to those in need and being able to accept it when necessary are great qualities.

8. Healthy alternatives to negative lifestyle patterns abound. Take baby steps if you don’t feel comfortable making all your changes on January 1. If you can’t stop a bad habit, start by cutting back. It’s okay to give yourself a little time to moderate or stop something that’s hurting you.

9. It’s not all about joining a gym to get fit. What about taking a dance class to get in shape and have fun at the same time? Starting over can mean chasing your dreams. We’re happiest when we’re moving toward a goal.

10. Starting over is about giving yourself a chance at real happiness. You will have to be brave and get good at learning new things, but how bad can that be? At the very worst, you will acquire the skills you need to start on the next project.

You Don’t Have to Have it All Figured Out

It’s hard to have all the answers before the questions are asked. I’m so used to apologizing for everything, I fear I have lost myself

My friend called me last night to start coordinating Cinco de Mayo festivities. Score! As I was thinking about how awesome this weekend is going to be, it hit me, out of nowhere…we’re already in MAY.

Really?!? A whole freaking year passed by already? I’m just baffled.

You see, May of last year marked the beginning of the weirdest year of my life.

But you know what?

The weirdest year of my life has also been the one I’m most thankful for.

To begin with, this time last year I thought I had everything figured out. Then I realized that I knew nothing. And so I began my quest to figure things out on my own terms. This is what’s happened since…

I’ve learned that first impressions aren’t always accurate. I’ve learned that while I’m good at some things, I suck at others. I’ve discovered some of my truest passions…

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Escaped Muse

I went down to library you know the big one way down town
I went down to the library you know the big one way down town
I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil
These these these are the words that I did put down

I’m a dud-fire cracker I aint got any fuse
I aint got no inspiration since I lost my muse
I’m a table with two legs, I’m a spider with five
I’m going down slow muse when will you arrive
Oh muse where are you?
Oh muse where are you?

I feel like I’ve lost my muse and my blog is going down hill because I have no inspiration to write. Oh muse where are you?

Here’s to Change

This speaks very deeply to me and my personality. It fits me to a T

Exploration of Happiness

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”

*******************************************

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

******************************************

“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

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The Little Thing That Binds Us

Things My Therapist Has Taught Me

Very interesting and quite true

Sips of Jen and Tonic

I don’t typically write serious subject matter on this blog, but a few months ago I wrote about my desire to seek therapy for a myriad of issues I’ve faced for years. A woman of my word, I began going almost immediately.

I don’t like talking to friends or family members about my problems so the idea of talking to a stranger about my innermost thoughts really put me off. Luckily, I found someone totally aces on the first try, and she has taught me some very valuable things in our time together so far.

How you feel about yourself is not a democracy.

I would never have described myself as a “people pleaser” until I started seeing her. Now I can’t believe I never saw it before. In every facet of my life I am living for someone else: at work, in relationships, with my family, among friends. No…

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Why NOT Taking Time Off Is Stupid

I can definitely relate and agree with this

Some people never take vacation.

Worse yet, some people complain when OTHER people take vacation.

The belief, these days, in the lovely corporate world -which P.S. I have no patience for- is that if your butt isn’t glued to your desk Monday-Friday 8 hours a day, you’re not a hard worker.

It’s a concept so sad that just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

Then, it makes me want to punch someone.

In the face.

Repeatedly.

We’ve somehow gotten to the point where people are scared of taking vacation. People are scared of taking time off.

Why?

Because they’re afraid that if they do, they’ll be considered a slacker.

There’s Amy…she’s going on a cruise next week…OBVIOUSLY she’s not very committed to her job.

*Shake my head*

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that it’s very possible to be a hard-working super-awesome employee

AND

Someone who…

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Lessons Learned From A Naive Girl’s Perspective

I’m the same way…feels like I’ll never learn

Here’s how the story unfolded a lonely woman without little so called friends reached out to a man to replace the husband that left. Knowing that no one could take his place not even him. Because what was left was done the day the papers were signed. No more reasons to cry for a story that was always meant for goodbye.

So the naive woman reached out to a man to make him a so called friend. The more they talked the more she fell. Her stupid head wouldn’t listen to her stupid knowing damn well he wasn’t one to trust. But fairytales was what she believed in and her stupid stories in her head confused her along with his words.

The pretty girl she didn’t know, always acting like a fool chasing after men.
She’d tell him stories of how she dated men then dropped them like they were…

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How to get over a crush you see every day

1. Kill the daydreams. Come back to reality and realize that something’s just aren’t mutual.

2. Reading between the lines is not always healthy. Men mean what they say like “I’m not looking for a relationship.” Honey that’s your huge indicator that you are not what he’s looking for – go take on the train and exit out of fantasy world again .

3. It’ll be hard for you to get over him since you see him on a daily basis but there are things you can do to keep your durance. Like keep it work related . Stop making up excuses to talk to him. Stop thinking about things to say to just him, hello there’s a thing called girlfriends they want to be there for you and laugh with you! They’re what you truly consider friends.

4. If he’s interested he’d come to you. How many times does…

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Little Girl Stop Chasing Men, Isn’t It Obvious He’s Just Not Interested

If you could create a painless, inexpensive cure for a single ailment, what would you cure and why?

A man I despise turned to me and said, “You’ll never fill the void until you find another person to fill his place.” This is the same man who treats me like shit, knowing that I’m too nice to stand up for myself. Wait, no let me change that, it’s the same man who knows that I’ll stand up for myself and then go back allow him to treat me like shit again. So tell me what the fuck do I do. Keep my boundaries in tact. I have a hard time with that.

So this blog will get personal, as it is supposed to be. Don’t feel sorry for me please, this is my way of escaping, validating without getting it from anyone I know. Telling a story that may help someone else. So this is the story of how you should not behave because there is a difference…

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Doubt. — Suspending Disbelief is the Cure.

I love this

mommyverbs

Doubt. I would cure … doubt.

Because doubt is the thing that keeps us from trying.

Doubt is the thing that keeps us from achieving.

Doubt is the thing that keeps us from believing that the most amazing things can happen.

Doubt is the thing that holds us back and makes us … miss the magic.

My girl-child just started reading a book in her third grade class about the great Shoeless Joe Jackson.

So. Without a doubt, we had to watch Field of Dreams.

Field of Dreams. A story about a farmer. A farmer who believed. A farmer who believed and built a baseball field. A baseball field in the middle of a corn field.

And then watched as his childhood heroes stepped through the stalks and played a game.

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The Five Worst Things About Being a Woman at Work

Very true for any environment really out in the working world. I don’t wear makeup at all so I’ve been lucky there but the others I have yet to deal with

Survival is Relative

Yeah, yeah, you’re probably thinking. Another feminist post. But it’s really more like, we’re both women, and we’re both at work, and we’re both grumpy about it, so now you get to hear about it 🙂 Plus, we’ll compensate with an equally gender-biased post about the best parts of being a woman at work next time. And, as is said often at Amanda’s office, “bitching is bonding.” So let’s bond.

The Five Worst Things About Being a Woman at Work

1. Always having to talk like a man when speaking with the men of the office. Of course, in Amanda’s office, it’s more PC to say “always having to work around your female socialization while appreciating that others were socialized male, and that communication will always be a challenge.” And then burn some sage.
2. Ripped tights. Or really, just tights. Don’t get us wrong, we actually like them, but…

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I’m Sorry I’m Not Perfect

I’m not perfect. Far from it in fact. You tell me I’m perfect for you and I love that you feel as strongly as you do. However, I feel like such a burden though I do love you dearly. I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I really don’t. I dump on you constantly and you just take it. Telling me everything will be fine. About how much you love me. How even if I can’t see how I’m the perfect one for you, you still love me. I know we’ll make it through. I’m stressed and I’m scared. I feel like my life is spiraling out of control and you are my rock. I feel safe. We don’t have the most conventional relationship but I’ve never been normal. You know the idea of dating someone in my state. It requires more work. It’s more stressful than I can deal with. I love you because you’re so simple. We can go days without talking and it doesn’t bother me. I know that sounds awful but I mean it in the context of I don’t depend on you. I’m not like most girls who freak out if they don’t talk with their sweetheart every five minutes. I’m just not like that. I hate admitting when I need help. I swear a lot. A study showed people who swear a lot are more trustworthy. I’ve put up with big disappointments. Like Valentines Day, Christmas last year, my birthday last year…I just can’t give up on us. It’s not that I like being disappointed, it’s really not that. It’s that I’ve invested so much of myself emotionally I’ve let you take walks through my mind, to try to unravel, understand me. You know how hard that is for me to let someone in, much less you. I’ve never felt so lucky to have you in my life. I lie awake at night and all I can think is how much you don’t deserve me. It’s not fair to you just to take everything I dish. I know my mother is worried. She thinks you have laughs at my expense for every promise you make that you don’t keep. She doesn’t want to see me get my heart-broken. That’s the funny thing with distance, I’m in deep emotionally but it would be easier to say goodbye if us ever came to that point, god forbid. She is afraid what will happen if you propose and I say yes. I would in a heartbeat. I don’t know you, is her philosophy. Sure we don’t physically talk on the phone, like a normal couple but what is normal? This is the generation where texting is the norm and that’s fine with me. I have a playlist for you. To say everything I can’t. I’ve let you in deep into my psyche and that is really what naked is. To have someone so deeply invested emotionally. To break down the walls you’ve built and let them into your mind. I don’t have a good past physically with guys. That’s why I love us. We can take things slow and don’t have to rush. It’s been two years. Two wonderful years, though sometimes it has been stressful. A real relationship does have fights, arguments, good times and bad. But most of all it has love and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

“They”

an important lesson

Spiraling

There was a time when I was happy. As happy as I could be anyway. I felt I had life under control. I could easily juggle school, a part time job, my friends, my steady relationship with my very loving boyfriend, and my hobbies without a problem. Everyone could be happy and I felt awesome! Now? Not in the least. I recently made the decision to take next semester off, much to my parents dismay. It’s not their fault. It’s 100% mine. I just can’t do it all anymore. I know my parents, will say I don’t care anymore. They’d be right but not 100% right. I do care, I really do. I’m an Art major. I love everything having to do with art. I’m just under too much pressure to keep my grades up, get my stuff in the show at the end of the semester and make sure it’s good. I’m taking three classes and I can barely keep up. It’s too much. I get more done in two hours at work than I do at school. It’s not that I don’t apply myself. It’s that I’m frustrated and what gives me joy and happiness on the weekend it’s a burden, a chore. Next to doing laundry at home, it’s my least favorite thing to do. How sad is it that I’d rather do laundry than go to school? I can’t keep up with deadlines and my work looks like a five year-old did it. I feel so rushed and I can’t seem to enjoy it. On Saturday, I’m more relaxed because I’m not competing for a grade or to get my art into a show. I’m expected to balance everything and I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve been told to cut back on my hours at work which I can’t do because my help is appreciated and needed. I don’t spend much time with my friends anymore because school and work suck up my time. My relationship with my boyfriend for the time being, is long distance. I hate that but it’s good in a sense because it’s the one thing I have control over. I don’t feel like I need to be perfect and when we talk I don’t feel perfect at all but he loves me anyway. Over our texts and the times we’ve talked, he’s seen me at my lowest and stuck with me through it all. He is my rock. I have my friends but I’m so busy with life throwing me around and never giving me a break that I never get to spend time with them. I feel like a horrible friend and a failure at life. If I had been given the chance to make bad decisions and live with the consequences, I feel I’d be better prepared for adulthood.

Samhain Blessing

Happy Samhain and Halloween everybody 😀

Cauldron and Brew: A Witch's Blog

As the Wheel Turns to the dark of the year

May you connect with your loved ones far and near,

Feast on candy, pumpkins, and witch’s brew,

And see into your future what’s best for you.

On blessed Samhain when the spirits soar

May you heed the wisdom of myth and lore

See the Goddess as the wise, cauldron stiring Crone

To know life’s mysteries of dust and bone.

And may you gain all good things you desire

Forget and forgive the muck and the mire

Health, wealth, love and wisdom to thee

Blessed Samhain, so mote it be!

A Time When…

I want to go back to the time when I wasn’t so stressed. When school, work, my relationship with Marcus, my dwindling friendships…didn’t weigh so heavily on my mind. To a time where heartbreak meant he took the last cookie not that you’ve gone your separate ways. I don’t know. We haven’t at all really, we’ve just been really busy dealing with life. I guess I just want to be young again when I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to see when the next pitfall of life would knock me on my ass

How to Cut Back on Distractions So You Can Be Insanely Productive

Every stressed person and even anyone who’s just busy juggling it all should read this

I’ve been overdosing on coffee lately and I feel like a zombie. I look at my to-do list and I want to cry.

School… work… 354 e-mails to read… it’s disgusting.

But instead of being productive, I find myself getting distracted and overwhelmed and then I have these anxiety-induced nervous breakdowns which really don’t help me get any of my work done.

And then, post-breakdown, I just feel bad because my wonderful boyfriend has to deal with me when I’m a crazy lunatic. Which is 95% of the time these days.

So basically, today’s guest post by Kevin Gannon is exactly what I needed to read! Thank you so much Kevin! You rock! Check out today’s post to read about cutting back on distractions, so you can be a fully-functioning member of society… NOT a crazy lunatic like me. ********************************************************************************

The fantastic team over at Copyblogger recently wrote about seven bad habits of insanely…

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Suicidal/Depression online-What do YOU do?

This has touched me very deeply as I have struggled on and off with depression. It’s not easy to deal with, almost impossible by yourself. The truth to all this is that you can deal with it, through therapy or long walks, doing what you love and having a good group of friends. I’ve struggled with depression and friends I know have as well. You can get through it, and I’m here to talk if you like -virtual hugs-

To Love Is Not Too Feel

I can really relate to this

Flooded Feelings

Don’t we all feel this way

learntoadmire

There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’ve failed everyone.
When all you have left is your mind when alone but even that isn’t good enough, times get lonely and emotions start to flood. I was once told, “When you’re alone, try not to over-think; it can destroy you.” Now that, that is what strikes me the most, how can someone so sane tell another something like that. To try and make you feel like they understand it all.
To think someone has gone through the torment that you thought was all your own and somehow overcome it all to help another. But, when you’ve felt pain like this how can you, yourself really think you can get over it all.
No love, no trust, no nothing.
This is the result of the mind, i let it flood my feelings.